tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-79085236459905455732024-03-14T09:44:58.347-05:00The Tin Man SagaA man's journey to find his heart is adventurous and dangerous at the same time. We will travel this journey together. The Tin Man Saga, named to follow along the Wizard of Oz's tin man's search for a heart he felt he desperately needed. No, not a real beating heart, but a heart that doesn't beat to a singular drummer, but one that motivates us to become more aware, understanding, and yes one that is not afraid to admit that it is hard to do life alone.
FOLLOW US AND LETS DO LIFE TOGETHERCarloshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15161603300997030981noreply@blogger.comBlogger28125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7908523645990545573.post-63424930808318540112022-06-12T16:52:00.000-05:002022-06-12T16:52:25.580-05:00THE HEART OF A CHAMPION<p> <span style="font-size: 12pt;">During their
basketball dominance, the Houston Rockets were almost defeated during their
second championship run and one thing most enthusiasts remember was hearing the
coach, Rudy Tomjanovich, quoting Kevin Johnson’s phrase, “never underestimate
the heart of a champion”. He was referring to the Rockets team after they came
back and won the title championship game. This was an incredible game, but more
than that, it brought out the best of the best when it was needed most.</span></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjKzvB4E4lxbV3JNwps9jpnwCn5a4cMQC6vrB7GgJQhD0Q0nhuRiVLyqsxBc7WDK5BLu9sjMTpWZaU2ZssJ0_DsPFS3Nyi4nWSAFCO_8i59cnKxsgb0_P_uYLYHJGnQHC9inridmASLxDlJgijZQ1MRFWfCZmQCop82RtNJ-gccGr-6hXId0myad-pF/s1920/basketball-gd0544e221_1920.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1706" data-original-width="1920" height="284" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjKzvB4E4lxbV3JNwps9jpnwCn5a4cMQC6vrB7GgJQhD0Q0nhuRiVLyqsxBc7WDK5BLu9sjMTpWZaU2ZssJ0_DsPFS3Nyi4nWSAFCO_8i59cnKxsgb0_P_uYLYHJGnQHC9inridmASLxDlJgijZQ1MRFWfCZmQCop82RtNJ-gccGr-6hXId0myad-pF/s320/basketball-gd0544e221_1920.jpg" width="320" /></a></div><br /><p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%;">I share this
inspirational story because we as men aren’t always bringing our best during
the times we need it most. At times we give in to pressure, to conflict, to the
nay-sayers that convince us we cannot do something. Sometimes our A game turns
out to be a B game. We are satisfied to move from the starting position to the
second string. Why is that men? Why is it that we can so easily settle for a
lesser us? I believe it has a lot to do with a man’s self-confidence. His
unique personal makeup and all that identifies him and qualifies him to certain
categories. A lot of men hold back due to first looking inward and over thinking
their abilities thereby, affecting their self-confidence and boom, it’s over. <o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%;">Men are
unique and I wish I could say deep but really, we are a simple, slow stepping,
one thought at a time kind of people. Of course, there are exceptions, plenty
of them, but for the most part we guys all have the same or similar basic
makeup. We mostly think about the same things, like very similar things, and we
share a deep-seated angst against sharing our feelings. Yes, that would be us. It
is not until there are no more options that we are now hard pressed to speak up
or step into a position we’d rather not be in. The point is, we can do it but
we choose not to do it. Here’s a couple of things we can do to ramp up our self-confidence
and this will help us find a better footing in life and perhaps provide a
better understanding of who we are and what we are meant to be.<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><b><span style="font-size: 16.0pt; line-height: 107%;"></span></b></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><b><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjOvsfyW2RRrXZVobfPnh-RwBk3i78SRHRtacuKgJ9S3mbStmddHN0kE8pAss1OCf2HkTo74_OyYNyBITmjHWQdptaO8PrzqLUc6tBHxYBvtpLG7j3W2zdduc9oWb7s1joNE6NtO9xzyQzcG0CUlxf5D38fwGbgjruqjJ7aSGYMlWf5AjhLAJAlGHNA/s5178/ivan-aleksic-Split%20RR.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="5178" data-original-width="3567" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjOvsfyW2RRrXZVobfPnh-RwBk3i78SRHRtacuKgJ9S3mbStmddHN0kE8pAss1OCf2HkTo74_OyYNyBITmjHWQdptaO8PrzqLUc6tBHxYBvtpLG7j3W2zdduc9oWb7s1joNE6NtO9xzyQzcG0CUlxf5D38fwGbgjruqjJ7aSGYMlWf5AjhLAJAlGHNA/s320/ivan-aleksic-Split%20RR.jpg" width="220" /></a></b></div><b><br />Set Some
Goals<o:p></o:p></b><p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><i><span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%;">“If you
don’t know where you are going, you’ll wind up someplace else” Yogi Berra.</span></i><span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%;"> This is the beginning of going
nowhere and worse than that, is not realizing that you’re going nowhere. It’s a
sad truth but very real. I’ve met plenty of men that didn’t have a clue where
they were going or even how they got to where they are. In deeper conversation,
we start to realize that most future decisions were made on a thought, a
feeling, or even maybe a desire of some sort. Nothing that is facts-based or
studied, just the motivation of the gut, so to speak. It’s no wonder men
continue to wonder why they are not feeling complete in life. I recommend that
men take some time to define goals you would like to set for yourself. One
thing to remember is that goals or goal setting is not age related, so just
because one is older, doesn’t mean goals aren’t needed. Goals are meant to
route our lives, to guide us through the areas not familiar to us, and to
organize the puzzle pieces of life for each of us. Goals are good. Goals can be
motivating. Without goals we just drift, we just move about aimlessly.<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><b><span style="font-size: 16.0pt; line-height: 107%;">Learn
More About Why We Do What We Do<o:p></o:p></span></b></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%;">It’s been
said that men have brains, but don’t think…this was probably very frustrated
wives somewhere that just could not figure out why their husbands say and do
what they do. Although humorous, this can seem true sometimes because we have
proven many times, we are that person that wives talk about. No excuse, no
justification, just the facts of us. I said all this to say that if we took
time to identify why we seem clueless at times, I believe it could be part of
our self-image, our self-confidence, or just the way we view the man in the
mirror. Men tend to believe that they are the only ones going through a
particular problem. That they are unique to an issue and that no one else could
possibly understand what they go through. This is called self-pity. The “woe is
me” syndrome. Alone and abandoned. NOT TRUE!! If we take the reins and begin to
learn more about ourselves, we can better understand our personality, character, and the more we learn about ourselves,
the better we are positioned to either change or refine what and how we
operate. There are many online assessments men can take that will evaluate and bring
definition into our lives. For example, the Enneagram is a wonderful analysis
that displays 9 types of personalities and unlocks who you really are. Another
real good one is the DISC assessment which identifies behavioral styles and
communication methods. Again, the more we learn about ourselves, the more
confident we will become because now we understand ourselves a little better.</span></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg4Qq1niFb9fXa4wFq5Y-FBhIXjkHLGmGihzibrC-sKh3V5XpNx0suw8Au3ZvujIjhkxIVUZPj2h7U8J2I5bGFZJC0eKFh7UejkpgCsK3ot3xK0EPJLS4VjyyJkvPDKc_1YaiJe_nnzh6Me_pqp8-PjNIs3ChjoVqw71IuJXsrB26xtzFhyRoWxGxJx/s1920/man%20with%20questions%20NA.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1344" data-original-width="1920" height="224" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg4Qq1niFb9fXa4wFq5Y-FBhIXjkHLGmGihzibrC-sKh3V5XpNx0suw8Au3ZvujIjhkxIVUZPj2h7U8J2I5bGFZJC0eKFh7UejkpgCsK3ot3xK0EPJLS4VjyyJkvPDKc_1YaiJe_nnzh6Me_pqp8-PjNIs3ChjoVqw71IuJXsrB26xtzFhyRoWxGxJx/s320/man%20with%20questions%20NA.jpg" width="320" /></a></div><p></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%;">Let’s put a honing
stone to our growth areas and refine our strong areas that are better suited for
us. Doing these two things will allow us to see things with new insight which
allows for better understanding of how to exhibit, to the best of our ability,
t<i>he Heart of a Champion!<o:p></o:p></i></span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><br /></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"> </p>Carloshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15161603300997030981noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7908523645990545573.post-3129817614517802482022-04-26T10:48:00.000-05:002022-04-26T10:48:00.683-05:00My Middle Name is "Failure"<p> </p><p class="MsoNormal"> I was hiking with a bud the other day and we get on the
discussion of feelings and how men generally avoid them or share them
infrequently. In particular, during the times we feel like we failed at
something or someone. Truth be told, if I fail then that means I am a failure
correct? It’s like if I tell a lie, then I am to assume that makes me a liar.
This is what society, and cultural beliefs will tell you, but it goes
beyond that. There must be context taken into consideration to assess a
situation appropriately. Look, I do not encourage lies but I know people do and
one thing I’ve learned is that the truth always comes out and it makes for your
life to get worse not better. To me that’s straight forward, but in the case of
“feeling” like a failure, there is so much more to consider. Feelings, although
God-given and can be good, may often lead you astray. Feelings are that part of
us that expresses great joy and happiness and, on another day, convinces us to “crash
and burn” royally. Plus, there’s so much in between those two to consider. In a
manner of speaking, it’s like the birth date and a death date on a tombstone.
Between those two dates there is a whole lifetime to evaluate and piece
together about someone’s life. </p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhs_z5zLFsyE_MSuYTQ2rCwZp_xs5nLcQ3eR20oO7oT32CSYv2dVr6Cb-iGgzWcw0w0oYFxkSJh9RtnELwnDVhRGUINYXSnr0aJjcg6Xslo2lkvE_8QxhuQLE-wvQNRH3q_YEDuO8sY9AsaSdvvzeapyK1yWoykqT7FBUsYTrrqzJYiNjuMLtDHktRs/s5760/Failure%20georges-tomazou.jpg" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="5760" data-original-width="3840" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhs_z5zLFsyE_MSuYTQ2rCwZp_xs5nLcQ3eR20oO7oT32CSYv2dVr6Cb-iGgzWcw0w0oYFxkSJh9RtnELwnDVhRGUINYXSnr0aJjcg6Xslo2lkvE_8QxhuQLE-wvQNRH3q_YEDuO8sY9AsaSdvvzeapyK1yWoykqT7FBUsYTrrqzJYiNjuMLtDHktRs/s320/Failure%20georges-tomazou.jpg" width="213" /></a></div><p></p><p class="MsoNormal">Every guy encounters moments where he just feels like a
failure and more times than not, it is because of guilt. We didn’t do something
we promised or committed to and now it’s time to face the music. The easiest
escape is to place a big fat sign on your forehead that reads “I am a failure”.
Yup, plain and simple, and once I do that, I can move on…or so it seems. Guys,
let me assure you that you just don’t move on. You think about it, dwell on it,
guilt yourself again and again, so much so that the whole cycle of “failed”
moments begin again and you find yourself back at square one. If you’re not
careful you may begin to believe this sad impression that is totally not true
and certainly not, you! We all do that, but we need to know that these setbacks
don’t define you and certainly are not representative of who you are. Here are
a couple of things I’d love for you to consider and remember during these
times.<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><b><span style="font-size: 14pt; line-height: 107%;">REMEMBER
WHO YOU ARE AND WHO YOU BELONG TO<o:p></o:p></span></b></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">It can be very easy to soak in what someone else is telling
you about your mistake and they can be very convincing in what they are saying.
This person speaking is more than likely the person that was depending on you
to have kept your word but for whatever reason, you didn’t, and now here we are
with one very disappointed person using some very colorful language to make you
aware that they’re not happy. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>As hard as
it may be, I’d like for you to keep in mind that they are speaking from a very
emotional stance, where unpleasant words may be said and may be even harder to
hear but hold your tongue and allow them to speak their peace. Hey, you messed
up so this is part of the consequences that happen. Above everything you hear,
hear this, they are generally addressing a behavior, in this case, your
behavior, and as life would have it, let them down. </p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjKvzyXBeehwl_qhWWlYuuLRTEmnkvcsoD6g7JOtFOw48J7So7IqsrdO8MaStunYAiQ6P8A0MsVvRCeUEVEGDnaMX3_dlf6NUUVyD42kjC954MQ6SIi3AwqFLdBoZWLaWOSAvI9IIvD57nUJVFZnsZctIHz_uv1WALu-BR6LGTiS0vOFRkDLS4ywWMJ/s720/Jesus%20reaching%20down.jpg" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="720" data-original-width="540" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjKvzyXBeehwl_qhWWlYuuLRTEmnkvcsoD6g7JOtFOw48J7So7IqsrdO8MaStunYAiQ6P8A0MsVvRCeUEVEGDnaMX3_dlf6NUUVyD42kjC954MQ6SIi3AwqFLdBoZWLaWOSAvI9IIvD57nUJVFZnsZctIHz_uv1WALu-BR6LGTiS0vOFRkDLS4ywWMJ/s320/Jesus%20reaching%20down.jpg" width="240" /></a></div>When angry people have a
hard time separating the person from the behavior, it comes out personalized
which leads to the guilt, which leads to that feeling of failure, and results
in your moping around trying not to believe you are a failure. Brother, you are
a child of the Lord God almighty and you are never a failure, and you are never
looked upon as a failure by Him. Does that mean you don’t mess up? Of course not,
but when you do, He is not approving of your behavior, but is still very much
in love with you. A love that can never be undone or be unreal. When you face your
mess ups like the child of God you are, you have a different perspective, you
see things differently and most importantly, you see yourself the way He sees
you and even better than that, you see others the way He sees them.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p><p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><b><span style="font-size: 14pt; line-height: 107%;">Define
Your Life According to God, Not According to Others</span></b></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">Face it, we all change and adjust according to what life
hands us and more times than not, we do a great job. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Someone said, “what you think about yourself
is most important, and what others think about you is not important at all”.
The point to this is that you should not live life according to what others
think about you. Without a doubt, you want to be liked for who you are, but
keep in mind, others do not recognize who you are on the inside because all
they know is what you display to them on the outside. You and God are the only
ones that know your inner being, your internal spirit, all the things that make
you who you are. So, how do you define yourself? Read about what you mean to
God, think about where you came from and where you are headed, and do you really
love yourself in terms of a healthy respect? You can do life without any of
these, but life was meant to be lived with all of these. You are important in
many ways, many methods, and to many people.<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">Set goals for yourself, be who God calls you to be in your
integrity, ethics, and morality. Allow these goals to stretch you, to uncover
more of you, and find meaning in your purpose in life. Afterall, you do have a
purpose, so discover it, learn it, and live it out.<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><b><span style="font-size: 14pt; line-height: 107%;"> </span></b><b><span style="font-size: 14pt; line-height: 107%;">Imagine a
New You!</span></b></p><p class="MsoNormal"><b><span style="font-size: 14pt; line-height: 107%;"></span></b></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><b><span style="font-size: 14pt; line-height: 107%;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgyHY3JkkdEc3QDpzaMy17gmw_EUD6YGDuGDL3Laxk_2hhJlBJmbATzR7xgsp9E8VhdIiP9WTDV9nbU2-Zhx-eyEUhAyh_0euXTsCNYFJh47ZWVZtSdu-M9G91SjTH9hAKQjf-yV_cyWxXcLjQX5LqI6Of3PYV-rRrnRerCptLtUCg7B8rH3MTNtLZB/s5330/Happy%20guy-andrea-piacquadio-.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="4610" data-original-width="5330" height="277" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgyHY3JkkdEc3QDpzaMy17gmw_EUD6YGDuGDL3Laxk_2hhJlBJmbATzR7xgsp9E8VhdIiP9WTDV9nbU2-Zhx-eyEUhAyh_0euXTsCNYFJh47ZWVZtSdu-M9G91SjTH9hAKQjf-yV_cyWxXcLjQX5LqI6Of3PYV-rRrnRerCptLtUCg7B8rH3MTNtLZB/s320/Happy%20guy-andrea-piacquadio-.jpg" width="320" /></a></span></b></div><p></p><p class="MsoNormal">There are lots of material and articles that can help you assess
where you may be right now, and perhaps guide you to be the person you want to
be, but keep in mind that they all have one thing in common, YOU. You are the
one that decides to be different, to be wholly committed to be the person God
wants you to be and who YOU want to be. Without your permission and
willingness, life will continue to be what it is. No difference, no changes, no
nothing. Nothing but the same old same old. Is this what you desire or want? Of
course you don’t, but you may have to step down from your current life and
promote yourself to a better life. That sounds weird right? I mean after all
there is no tangible way to do this except in the mind, your mind. You are the
only one who can decide to change, and although God could change you by a mere
snap of His fingers, He prefers you do it. He wants you to be willing to accept
a new role for yourself. He’s already defined you, but you have to recognize
and accept that definition for you. Today is there any reason you cannot
challenge yourself to be different, to be better than who you were yesterday?
To accept an unfamiliar, and perhaps uncomfortable path in front of you but
knowing the path is not the focal point, you are! Imagine yourself as a new and
improved product. Not like the store commercials that evolve constantly and
never meet expectations because they market a new and even better product. A
new you is waiting to be transformed into the very likeness of God through
Jesus Christ. Not like the storybook genie that comes out of the lamp and
easily grants wishes, but like a moth that evolves into the beautiful
butterfly. No longer encumbered, no longer ugly, but born new. Now your inner beauty
exudes, now your purpose is more defined, liberated to fly as high as you want.
Reimagine your life accepting what God has for you, living out your life on the
road He has already prepared for you and never ever having to live life according
to others. It’s your choice my brother…no one can choose for you.<o:p></o:p></p>Carloshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15161603300997030981noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7908523645990545573.post-61758465295333219662022-04-14T09:42:00.000-05:002022-04-14T09:42:05.322-05:00A Good Old Fishing Story<br /><br />As the fellowship of guys grows within our communitites, there seems to always be that one "fishing" story that is almost too hard to believe and somehow always trumps anyone else's story. You know exactly what I am referring to because most men have either told that story or hve been in a group where someone else tells the story. I think this is a story told round the world, so to speak. Men are men and as competitive as we are, we always want to have a better story than the rest of the pack. That's just the way men do things as part of fellowship with other men. <br /><br /><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgRH_zK1w7Wp1slMrSCQFyMX18Fpod_mr2o0Gi9OmwGZ3M9-AfV4IvOtKcSqqGTTXDO_h0ems0_a6d8U7d0VkANCypGkaxp8i9UokMsSTqrRVPHAtB2tWSODiLdYURri6Oo7O_MxXu853vENglJ4IUA1v7a7ijdpaWKCscD4mDDgbJRxEo338l9aOXE/s1920/Guy%20fishing.jpg" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1920" data-original-width="1280" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgRH_zK1w7Wp1slMrSCQFyMX18Fpod_mr2o0Gi9OmwGZ3M9-AfV4IvOtKcSqqGTTXDO_h0ems0_a6d8U7d0VkANCypGkaxp8i9UokMsSTqrRVPHAtB2tWSODiLdYURri6Oo7O_MxXu853vENglJ4IUA1v7a7ijdpaWKCscD4mDDgbJRxEo338l9aOXE/s320/Guy%20fishing.jpg" width="213" /></a></div>I actually am witness to a story that, as I think about it, sounds impossible and exaggererated but trust me it's not since I actually was there at that very moment. So a couple of my buds and I planned a fishing trip for a few days and while there we each tried and tested artificial lures and some live bait. For the most part a few fish were caught but nothing to brag on. At least not until one of my buds decided to skip fishing in the water and thought it would be a great idea to fish in the air, for birds. Seagulls in particular. We thought about what he said and naturally thought is was a silly idea, but as I looked over at him about to share a sly remark, he cast his bait in the air and caught a bird...OMG he actually reeled in the bird! Standing there with my mouth wide open I couldn't believe what I had just seen. I'm thinking there is no way this could happen! He called his cast, his catch, and did it on the first and only cast! Reminded me of Babe Ruth when he called his homerun during a game. He points his bat in the direction of where the ball would go, he swung at the next pitch, and there it went over the fence! Wow, wow, wow!!! That day the men in that stadium must have felt the same thing I felt and that was "no possible way"! Had I not witnessed this moment, it would have been hard for me to envision, much less believe that this happened right in front of me. Incredible!<div><br /></div><div><div style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em; text-align: left;">Although what happened was pretty darn good and all, what I came home with, aside from fish, birds, or any other animal, was a heart full of joy and much content. My heart felt at peace having spent a few days with guys I am close to in life. We laughed, talked, and for the most part, played...we played like children. Always looking to one up each other, always looking for the next unequalled feat like the bird catch. Loving life and living seemingly without a care in the world for those few, but very special days. We didn't want our time fishing to end, to lose what we just restored and renewed in our spirits, to face the reality of each of our lives when we arrived home. As much as we missed our families, we missed our "kid self" too. Fishing was just the venue, catching the bird for my friend was just an adventure, celebrating that we had the opportunity do share life with one another was priceless, as they say. God never meant anyone to live alone and that weekend no one felt alone or felt life's demands. We felt, for a weekend, that feeling of going back in time when we were young, full of energy, and played until the sun was going down but in this case we turned on the light on the pier and continued fishing, continued something we all were enjoying and with the people we love. </div><div style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em; text-align: left;"><span style="text-align: center;">Listen, if you have friends you can do something with, do it. Don't wait to be invited, don't wait until you're not so busy or tired. Be the initiator, be the one that puts it together, be intentional to be with your friend or friends. Be together, journey together, live life to the full and do it with guys you like being around. You can never live life out loud if you don't allow yourself to. You can never be more like yourself until you have found that friend that desires to be more like himself too and you share your lives together. There is something to be said about the person that has your back and that is that he accepts you the way your are, with all your faults and with all your quirkyness because you are accepting of him in the very same way. If you don't have this kind of friend, find one or two, but keep in mind that in order to find this person, you first have to be this person to someone else. You won't know life until you are experiencing it with a bud.</span></div><div style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em; text-align: left;"><span style="text-align: center;"><br /></span></div><div style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em; text-align: left;"><span style="text-align: center;"><br /></span></div><b><span style="font-size: medium;">"Every man dies. Not every man really lives." William Wallace, Braveheart</span></b></div><div><b><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></b></div><div style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em; text-align: left;"><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi3y-CeiiP43z-hRffmZH2wRVDYdyjJI6MLvhmwDq7_7cldNaaseNWG7SpfqE4ygx9FX-wpZDtm6zHs1sp5iP7gPrjwAAPrEVM7xW5xwx393fW4xcDAKLNzlQOqhFTvz2gTj5_B6-xk7E49jTJGaPk9SIdYb_6hWY2bWrLWrOIbBOt15I5KYB7avQcW/s410/Camp%20Buckner%20Fish.jpg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="410" data-original-width="370" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi3y-CeiiP43z-hRffmZH2wRVDYdyjJI6MLvhmwDq7_7cldNaaseNWG7SpfqE4ygx9FX-wpZDtm6zHs1sp5iP7gPrjwAAPrEVM7xW5xwx393fW4xcDAKLNzlQOqhFTvz2gTj5_B6-xk7E49jTJGaPk9SIdYb_6hWY2bWrLWrOIbBOt15I5KYB7avQcW/s320/Camp%20Buckner%20Fish.jpg" width="289" /></a></div><br /><span style="text-align: center;"><br /></span></div><div style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em; text-align: left;"><span style="text-align: center;"><br /></span></div>Carloshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15161603300997030981noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7908523645990545573.post-24181169754029343092022-03-14T12:22:00.009-05:002022-03-14T12:26:50.520-05:00Life, Wife, and Strife (Part Two)<p><span>Last time I left you with a challenge to do <span>two </span><span>very important things that would help your marriage or relationship get to a higher level of health and wellness. One challenge was to <i><b>study your wife</b></i> and the other, to<b><i> romance your wife</i></b>. If you </span></span><span>intentionally</span><span> </span><span>worked on these two things you are well on your way to the best time of your life with your spouse or girlfriend. This time around I will provide you with two more challenges that will solidify the four quandrants of what women want from their hero.</span></p><p><span>There are some areas of relationships that are crucial to have and with intentionality, you can provide vitality to it. Of course, there may be a few differences between the ladies but for the most part, if you fill in the blanks in these areas, you are gonna hit it out of the ballpark. <span style="background-color: white;">For example, the challenge of <b><i>studying </i></b></span></span><span><span style="background-color: white;">your wife, when done correctly, will shape the area of "<i><b>Connection</b></i>" for you both. When you are in healthy connection, there is an incredible sense of togetherness and a powerful heartfelt sense of walking through anything that comes your way together, unified, and with an unbreakable bond. </span></span><span face="Oxygen, "Open Sans", sans-serif" style="color: #333333; letter-spacing: 0.3px;">Most ladies want to connect with their husbands or boyfriends in many ways. When you offer a listening ear like when she shares her ideas or thoughts you validate her. You show her </span>empathy when you <span face="Oxygen, "Open Sans", sans-serif" style="color: #333333; letter-spacing: 0.3px;">share similar feelings, and on the occasion where you actually understand how she operates, you know you have made a healthy connection with her.</span></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><span face="Oxygen, "Open Sans", sans-serif" style="color: #333333; letter-spacing: 0.3px;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEhLi6q6MvL4qU1o1n2zqgWtSV-Yb5Lw3eb-yLp0SCNWgDD6etmBXbAgIk38tc7hr-uXAud3VRO76jpPTvaGlYbC2lGuRA0eP1yMtxPY-V3YxP5ZRyRM7Md2gO0Ksa3VfF6SCr1Cj9NQGM3l0EqLYdjMyrAYcBotsBoSQDiRF2kFUDTRTiNerYk4E4nN=s960" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="695" data-original-width="960" height="232" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEhLi6q6MvL4qU1o1n2zqgWtSV-Yb5Lw3eb-yLp0SCNWgDD6etmBXbAgIk38tc7hr-uXAud3VRO76jpPTvaGlYbC2lGuRA0eP1yMtxPY-V3YxP5ZRyRM7Md2gO0Ksa3VfF6SCr1Cj9NQGM3l0EqLYdjMyrAYcBotsBoSQDiRF2kFUDTRTiNerYk4E4nN=s320" width="320" /></a></span></div><span face="Oxygen, "Open Sans", sans-serif" style="color: #333333; letter-spacing: 0.3px;"><br /></span><p></p><p><span face="Oxygen, "Open Sans", sans-serif" style="color: #333333; letter-spacing: 0.3px;">Of course <b><i>romancing your wife</i></b> speaks for itself. Or does it? For whatever crazy idea people generally associate romance with sex. Yep, with sex! It seems that sex supersedes real intimacy which goes way deeper than anyone can imagine. Truth be told, when the mind is governed, or better said, directed by the mind and its sexual tendencies, it could actually lead to building a wall against intimacy. Intimacy, in its foundational makeup, is the ability to be o</span><span face="Oxygen, "Open Sans", sans-serif" style="color: #333333; letter-spacing: 0.3px;">pen, honest, and authentic with someone. It is being vulnerable, meaning there is not anything in your past, present, or future that you will not share with someone. So, essentially when you open up to your special person, you are meeting the vital portion in the area of relationship building which is<span><i><b> intimacy</b> </i></span>in the emotional, spiritual, and of course physical, just by sharing your life, thoughts, and your dreams honestly and without hesitation. </span></p><p><span style="color: #333333; letter-spacing: 0.3px;">So now we come to the last two attributes when done correctly and consistently will provide an incredible bond and love in its truest sense for you. Also, let me remind you again that you and I will never be perfect at this and there will be times when we slip and want to do our own thing or what feels good and right at the moment. This is the time when men step up and apologize, ask for forgiveness and then continue with the good life. This is a story all to its own but trust me, a loving wife or girlfriend knows and accepts you as an imperfect person because they understand that they are not perfect either. </span></p><p><span style="color: #333333; letter-spacing: 0.3px;"><br /></span></p><p><b><span style="font-family: "Dreaming Outloud Pro"; font-size: 20pt; line-height: 107%;">Converse With Your Wife </span></b><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEi7bWjFriDKUm2qxasI_6qaneJnwViuNUhWHGYAh2yMwGgp9lBhiyW2FcGqzQ2NMJ0iSXOrJoDvoa-gmNFU2HLpPu2zi5z0L_xU0u4a3xzjE2QoKCANGfHsrfzZ0Jq7nrp2M4FsXYHSzyBQLmUJUYI2AwNgnrGOOX3mZ5SOC11nhGgKCKaYvIgebHnN" style="clear: left; display: inline; font-size: 12pt; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em; text-align: center;"><img alt="" data-original-height="28" data-original-width="376" height="24" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEi7bWjFriDKUm2qxasI_6qaneJnwViuNUhWHGYAh2yMwGgp9lBhiyW2FcGqzQ2NMJ0iSXOrJoDvoa-gmNFU2HLpPu2zi5z0L_xU0u4a3xzjE2QoKCANGfHsrfzZ0Jq7nrp2M4FsXYHSzyBQLmUJUYI2AwNgnrGOOX3mZ5SOC11nhGgKCKaYvIgebHnN" width="320" /></a></p><span><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0in;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEi8cbs3jzT0RsvLI-0eFY-rKy9WJpNSp3J_QqzWt0zmQUpinzFS8IBYHjm9Cbj0X3vPfSOXLgn4VcCbB7BZbroc_MqhXQrMHAjCDXCIc4JNZX_aD6JwIr1LDhZI1e4kJr39_YT4c5XDRfSv_20nPdKaI2NthrnC61NSZR3ZyM9zHcnOrDaL6-jgv6m7=s4472" style="clear: right; float: right; font-size: 16px; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em; text-align: center;"><img border="0" data-original-height="4472" data-original-width="3648" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEi8cbs3jzT0RsvLI-0eFY-rKy9WJpNSp3J_QqzWt0zmQUpinzFS8IBYHjm9Cbj0X3vPfSOXLgn4VcCbB7BZbroc_MqhXQrMHAjCDXCIc4JNZX_aD6JwIr1LDhZI1e4kJr39_YT4c5XDRfSv_20nPdKaI2NthrnC61NSZR3ZyM9zHcnOrDaL6-jgv6m7=s320" width="261" /></a><span>I’m pretty sure that most, if not all women, wives or not,
enjoy sitting and chatting with their partner to catch up. Whether it’s an
issue that needs resolving or just over a cup of java dreaming about their
future. Wouldn’t it be nice to know that no matter what the content was, the
conversation would not erupt into angry outbursts or snide remarks against each
other? Afterall, you’re both adults and should behave as such, or are you like kids
that go into an argument with an "it’s my way or the highway" position? I think
you’ll agree that any discussion that is that peaceful would be one that
you look forward to. Look, your wife loves and maybe even craves your
attention when it’s healthy and honoring. When it’s not, she doesn’t want to go
through it either. So, what do you have to do to change the way you speak with
her wife? This area falls into the <b><i>respect</i></b> of her as a person and much more as a person that you love. When she feels the value you place on her in your conversations with her, her heart melts not for the actual words but how those words make her feel. When you truly love someone they can feel it in how you display your words and actions to her and for her. Again, in the years of working with couples, I know she wants to feel
valued. She is relationally energized when she feels that she is at the very top of your wishes and
desires. There are many things you can do to make this happen. Think about the
strength you have when you lead off with loving words and gestures. The words
you choose to speak can determine how they are received. I remember a quote
that said, “choose your words wisely because you may have to eat them soon.”
Trust me, I learned the hard way that sweet words taste better than sour ones.
I know that a lot of you used to do this while you were dating so what changed?
When did you slide off into a habit of taking the shortest route to the point
where you may not even notice anymore? Thank goodness this is just a bad habit
and can be replaced with a good one. Take some time and think about how you
interact with your wife. Ask her…if she is honest, she will explain to you what
your words and actions make her feel like.</span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-size: 12pt;"> </span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0in;"><b><span style="font-family: "Dreaming Outloud Pro"; font-size: 20pt; line-height: 107%;">Protect
Your Wife<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></b></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><b><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEjnP2vt034xaqmEqhGDNrMllqMCSzKt9BgB4ggdXPZ6GmqnHFSotLcfYR03dXM6XJSnp9RursWVYExFDN2SXxCBgjF9E_Tn6uHx5dkN9XWycUuxR_M_lQIkQxQR6PPH9fR5AlExinghZAIeITxHfWEOUIfCTNNGplnlwT4b-Pc42KRgXTQih5LEG9Ld" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img alt="" data-original-height="28" data-original-width="376" height="22" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEjnP2vt034xaqmEqhGDNrMllqMCSzKt9BgB4ggdXPZ6GmqnHFSotLcfYR03dXM6XJSnp9RursWVYExFDN2SXxCBgjF9E_Tn6uHx5dkN9XWycUuxR_M_lQIkQxQR6PPH9fR5AlExinghZAIeITxHfWEOUIfCTNNGplnlwT4b-Pc42KRgXTQih5LEG9Ld=w320-h22" width="320" /></a></b></div><b><div><span><b><br /></b></span></div><br /> <o:p></o:p></b><p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="line-height: 107%; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">What
does this thought invoke in you? Are you thinking that you have to protect her
against robbers and thieves, or perhaps against any threats that would hurt
her? Maybe you make sure she buckles up when in the car. These are all good and
a yes, but have you ever considered protecting her against you? Yes, you…her
husband, her partner, the one who promised to love and cherish. This includes to protect her against all enemies
in your marriage vows.</span><span style="font-size: 12pt; line-height: 107%; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;"> </span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0in;"></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEgtD1W9Mic6wG9o4y94LU75kkuVoaNn7XMVq_mKDvk-zHOyKUgXWG_8pM4RIYwslYtfxZiv53rietBRaqzMjWAAcF9l2UWqLCvOszzeo_UDAs2iyzdKY-CZpXnhp69ni1i_Or54GJR9U8fFtCZ8zO1eLxQgvLHN2gQmJK3D8TAzdYzv7Z226V9m3zXS=s5616" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="3744" data-original-width="5616" height="213" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEgtD1W9Mic6wG9o4y94LU75kkuVoaNn7XMVq_mKDvk-zHOyKUgXWG_8pM4RIYwslYtfxZiv53rietBRaqzMjWAAcF9l2UWqLCvOszzeo_UDAs2iyzdKY-CZpXnhp69ni1i_Or54GJR9U8fFtCZ8zO1eLxQgvLHN2gQmJK3D8TAzdYzv7Z226V9m3zXS=s320" width="320" /></a></div><p></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0in;"><span>You remember those right? For richer or poorer, in sickness and in health, yes those right there. </span><span>When you do this consistently you meet the <b><i>commitment</i></b> she needs to know that her "knight in shining armour" stands right in front of her no matter what life throws at them.</span><span>There is a good chance </span><span>that you’ve never even considered that you could be the one that has caused her so much grief and if this isn't corrected, you could become her enemy. </span><span style="line-height: 107%; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">I have found that when you go down this road
to becoming the person that hurts her, she is becoming more and more bitter and resentful. You may be a very good husband,
and even have wonderful traits, but when you change and your alter ego comes
out, it usually means that you are attacking her with very unbecoming behaviors
and therefore, this behavior is now the issue that damages a relationship. Instead, love her gently and be intentional when considering what, how, and when you want to have an </span><span>actual conversation. </span><span>Men generally don’t mind saying sorry but have a terrible
time with the second part. Don’t be prideful or embarrassed guys, make your
life better by being better for her.</span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="line-height: 107%; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;"><o:p> </o:p></span><span>I thank my wife who through all our years of marriage has taught me all these traits. They have made me a better husband, but not a perfect one, and she is fine with that. This communication is what proved essential to the life of our marriage. I hope you get something out of this and at the very least, a better understanding of what you may lack. My wish is for you to be better. Always striving to get better but understand that you nor I, will ever be perfect in our communication. That’s why we give and receive grace. So, what about <b>Life, Wife, and Strife</b>?? This becomes reality when you allow it and consider that you have so many golden opportunities to have a wonderful <b>Life,</b> a loving <b>Wife</b>, and two people who work hard to minimize <b>Strife!</b></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0in;"> </p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-size: 12pt; line-height: 107%; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;"><o:p> </o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0in;"> </p></span><p></p>Carloshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15161603300997030981noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7908523645990545573.post-4833470987176500732022-01-18T16:30:00.000-06:002022-01-18T16:30:21.920-06:00Life, Wife, & Strife - Part One<p> <span style="font-size: 12pt;">To change
the topic content is healthy every now and again so this episode will be about
relationship, but not just any relationship, but a very particular one. I’m
speaking about your wife, if you have one, but if you don’t keep reading so you
can learn about being “the one” your future wife is looking for.</span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 12pt; line-height: 107%;">In meeting
with men for a couple of decades now, one of the most frequently discussed
topics has typically been a consistent struggle in how couples communicate.
When this is not healthy, arguments are soon to follow. Why is there so much
lacking in a couple’s ability to talk <i>with</i> one another instead of talking
<i>at</i> one another? <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We could say it
is because of misunderstandings, wrong words being spoken, even a tone taken during
this interaction. Honestly, these things for sure are culprits, but along with
other factors, communication skills between spouses are hampered more than one
realizes. Let me say this as well, there isn’t any one perfect couple that
doesn’t mess up occasionally but there is a lot that you, as a husband, can do
to reduce the tension in the air. If you are single, take heed, learning these
before you get married will serve you well after. As the title states</span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 12pt;">Life,
Wife, and Strife, indicates an acceptance of a general belief that when a guy
marries, he can expect his life to change dramatically. The intimacy of being
married is a great benefit of course, but allow me to quote Dr. Kevin Lehman,
“Sex begins in the kitchen”. He is stating that in order for the bedroom to be
great, the rest of the house has to be great. Married life begins the moment of
waking up with every word, thought, and action until bedtime. The quote
presents the thought that if we are to have authentic and passionate intimacy,
the foreplay must begin when our feet hit the floor in the morning. I know
there’s a lot that goes into that, but the focus is intentionally attempting to
treat our wife as being THE most important thing in our life. I’ll be married
50 years this next year and I am not going to tell you that it is easy. We
argued, we struggled, we even considered going our own ways at one point, well
I did, she never did, but thank God that thought was fleeting and gone before
it could take root. Single men, this one action is the most important one that
you can do for your future wife. When she feels like the queen that she is, she
has no reason to look elsewhere. Ok, so let’s get into ways and means to avoid
disasters in your current, and for some, in your future marriage.</span><span style="font-size: 12pt;"> </span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 12pt;"></span></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEhhvqUzU1T1TM4CQzm1yQktddH3bh3BCbb7qoWQ2zi89pNAaNOtq63e6shOLYUQZGavO_wGnjHePfMBlWIafRULVT3n4zVouvOHAXinFU_vJljYP0Dwrrdl1q9FJPFvEMYfI8-4owqd7gO1Y9i_ItM_wM9PFzvMNNzvxNKHRt6dH4hHRP4DUp5DCakc=s6016" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="4016" data-original-width="6016" height="214" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEhhvqUzU1T1TM4CQzm1yQktddH3bh3BCbb7qoWQ2zi89pNAaNOtq63e6shOLYUQZGavO_wGnjHePfMBlWIafRULVT3n4zVouvOHAXinFU_vJljYP0Dwrrdl1q9FJPFvEMYfI8-4owqd7gO1Y9i_ItM_wM9PFzvMNNzvxNKHRt6dH4hHRP4DUp5DCakc=s320" width="320" /></a></div><p></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 12pt; line-height: 107%;">So, what can a man do to become a beloved
husband? I am going to talk along the lines of a quote I read the other day, <i>“express
your love for your wife without speaking any words”</i>. There was no author
listed, but this quote, is the crux of what love looks like in a healthy
marriage. One of the deepest desires in a woman’s heart is to know, feel, and
see that their marriage is secure. That when troubles come, and they will, she
knows you will not walk out the door, that you are in the mix with her
regardless of how hard the fight is and that you will not quit. In other words,
that you meant all the words spoken in your marriage vows. It is because of
this that that she will love you without condition, because you have displayed
that kind of love to her from the get-go. Here are a few suggestions that when
done often, will capture her heart and of course, add many tokens to your love
bank.</span><span style="font-size: 12pt;"> </span><span style="font-size: 12pt;"> </span></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br /></div><br /> <a name="_Hlk93046760"><span style="mso-bookmark: _Hlk92991097;"><b><span style="font-family: "Dreaming Outloud Pro"; font-size: 20pt; line-height: 107%;">Study Your W</span></b></span></a><span style="mso-bookmark: _Hlk92991097;"><b><span style="font-family: "Dreaming Outloud Pro"; font-size: 20pt; line-height: 107%;">ife<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></b></span><p></p><p class="MsoNormal"><a name="_Hlk93046760"><span style="mso-bookmark: _Hlk92991097;"><b><span style="font-family: "Dreaming Outloud Pro"; font-size: 20pt; line-height: 107%;"></span></b></span></a></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="display: inline;"><a name="_Hlk93046760"><span style="mso-bookmark: _Hlk92991097;"><b><span style="font-family: "Dreaming Outloud Pro"; font-size: 20pt; line-height: 107%;"><span style="mso-bookmark: _Hlk92991097;"><b><span style="font-family: "Dreaming Outloud Pro"; font-size: 20pt; line-height: 107%;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></b></span></span></b></span></a></p><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiiUX_PIjfsr65lh7BSHBBKHBZ1xSR-BVReydG6RYuKx9n4P4ijQYQusS6OmnF_p3QVg0Xc8PXMcvMHJdQAY-tuxx0XigYb7B0zBiPq6w_TV2yC5SNKMA9J0HdmTVpfoKa7_QY12rluxYI/" style="clear: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em; text-align: center;"><img alt="" data-original-height="28" data-original-width="376" height="24" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiiUX_PIjfsr65lh7BSHBBKHBZ1xSR-BVReydG6RYuKx9n4P4ijQYQusS6OmnF_p3QVg0Xc8PXMcvMHJdQAY-tuxx0XigYb7B0zBiPq6w_TV2yC5SNKMA9J0HdmTVpfoKa7_QY12rluxYI/w331-h24/image.png" width="331" /></a><p></p><span style="font-size: 12pt;">I believe
first and foremost, a man should study his wife or girlfriend during any time
together, if you’re married, while at home in daily exchanges. Know this, women
desire to know that her man values her enough to be authentic and honest. In
all things, that she knows she doesn’t have to guess what your reaction may be.
These things along with being intimate with her about your feelings, fears, and
your faith will display to her your true character. That you take the time to
peel the onion layers back in her life to know her, value who she is, and get
to know her on many levels. That you know there is strength in being together
as you do life together. Studying your wife will be a lifelong endeavor that
will richly pay dividends. As you study her more you learn to understand her
more. Especially to appreciate her perspective. Truth be told she isn’t looking
to change you but looking for you to understand her and her position. The
interaction between the two of you will either become exciting and prosperous
or it will raise a white flag of surrender to the enemy of heart. The only way
you’ll be able to do this is to ask her about her. Walk into her world and learn
it, build on it, and be a part of it. Display to her by your actions that she
is interesting even when the topic of conversation is not. Speak words that
encourage, words that draw her out, words that join your hearts together into
one and yet understand that you’re still two different people. </span><span style="font-size: 12pt; mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 12pt; line-height: 107%;"><o:p> </o:p></span><b><span style="font-family: "Dreaming Outloud Pro"; font-size: 20pt; line-height: 107%;">Romance
Your Wife</span></b></p><p></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="mso-bookmark: _Hlk93046474;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiiUX_PIjfsr65lh7BSHBBKHBZ1xSR-BVReydG6RYuKx9n4P4ijQYQusS6OmnF_p3QVg0Xc8PXMcvMHJdQAY-tuxx0XigYb7B0zBiPq6w_TV2yC5SNKMA9J0HdmTVpfoKa7_QY12rluxYI/" style="clear: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em; text-align: center;"><img alt="" data-original-height="28" data-original-width="376" height="33" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiiUX_PIjfsr65lh7BSHBBKHBZ1xSR-BVReydG6RYuKx9n4P4ijQYQusS6OmnF_p3QVg0Xc8PXMcvMHJdQAY-tuxx0XigYb7B0zBiPq6w_TV2yC5SNKMA9J0HdmTVpfoKa7_QY12rluxYI/w331-h33/image.png" width="331" /></a></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-size: 12pt; line-height: 107%;">Most men are shy about displaying PDAs in public and if
you’re not, good for you. If you are, learn to overcome whatever fear or
embarrassment you have about it. After all, she is now studying you. Its not
like you’re groping at her, like I was accused of many times early in our
marriage, but it is displaying how much in love you are with her and that you
are not afraid to show the world. Learn her, her likes and dislikes, learn the
secret of whispering in her ear precious and passionate words. Secretly lean in
and kiss her lightly only enough to extend an invitation. She will smile and
get goosebumps when you do this. You are now in her world of romance, the one
we men are not accustomed to. Soft gestures are best. A light touch on her
shoulder, her hand/arm, a smile that makes her realize that there’s more to
come. You are just getting started on today’s journey of how to love her. One
more thing to show her value, be intentional about dating your wife. Make sure
you schedule the next date night before this one ends.<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-size: 12pt; line-height: 107%;"><o:p> </o:p></span></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: 12pt; line-height: 107%;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEjw05wFM0sh0FJZ6l0eq8K_BGj_HqVl1DxV-OAd1fXTZSBg8v6kIragF1fIbeV0pjO8MxhrS_fC-LQa_T84hbOiZMDJZMzvjmpfcfgoJsipk-01UT3jGbQXvGLSSKIU4s9nEgFQQXljzq7rjjQAe55l3uVH-oQ5YWRdVvsDWhoI3Mt8KYRbyU1KYsHn=s1920" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1280" data-original-width="1920" height="213" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEjw05wFM0sh0FJZ6l0eq8K_BGj_HqVl1DxV-OAd1fXTZSBg8v6kIragF1fIbeV0pjO8MxhrS_fC-LQa_T84hbOiZMDJZMzvjmpfcfgoJsipk-01UT3jGbQXvGLSSKIU4s9nEgFQQXljzq7rjjQAe55l3uVH-oQ5YWRdVvsDWhoI3Mt8KYRbyU1KYsHn=s320" width="320" /></a></span></div><p></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-size: 12pt; line-height: 107%; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">I have given you two very important things to lift off your marriage to health
and wellness. I challenge you to practice these two as often as you can. At
first it will be somewhat awkward, but only because it not part of what you do
daily. Practice makes perfect they say. Next episode of The Tin Man will give some
more very thought out and practiced traits that have proven successful and when
applied, you will become your wife’s Knight in Shining Armor and although your
armor may have a few chinks, she will be blinded by the shine of the new you.</span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0in;"><b><span style="font-size: 12pt; line-height: 107%; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;"><o:p> </o:p></span></b></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0in;"><b><span style="font-size: 12pt; line-height: 107%; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;"> Stay
tuned for the next episode coming your way in a couple of weeks. <o:p></o:p></span></b></p>Carloshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15161603300997030981noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7908523645990545573.post-5684650821470383062021-12-27T11:45:00.000-06:002021-12-27T11:45:55.916-06:00Color My World<p> </p><p class="MsoNormal"></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEio61mGtJU9TQrf_L8H3JVOWWgabYCBi86fBLXH6QV_fR1Hgr3Vq9V4_7WF9iXdywELSpQBjUdh7kjiTjoMlLXmIc3mitsC2TDsn96zIbqGSevGgUntstAsH6MUACUuWxPxwZiyYHjnQRqvpyvApNo1gpcZo9R4-ykaRCIXHT_OzoBIwfDsKG2dzsVp=s5184" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="3456" data-original-width="5184" height="213" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEio61mGtJU9TQrf_L8H3JVOWWgabYCBi86fBLXH6QV_fR1Hgr3Vq9V4_7WF9iXdywELSpQBjUdh7kjiTjoMlLXmIc3mitsC2TDsn96zIbqGSevGgUntstAsH6MUACUuWxPxwZiyYHjnQRqvpyvApNo1gpcZo9R4-ykaRCIXHT_OzoBIwfDsKG2dzsVp=s320" width="320" /></a></div>Not that I’m being nosey, well, maybe sometimes I am, but I
am absolutely mesmerized by listening to people as they talk with one another
or to me. Obviously, it’s impossible for me to ascertain what is occurring in
their minds, so I’m left to formulate that whatever is in their minds at that
moment, is what may guide or steer that particular conversation. Something I’ve
learned in my years of counseling and being a mentor, is that I must be very
intentional when talking to someone, that I listen to what is being said, and
just as important, to what is not being said. Active listening some folks may
call it, but it’s the keen ability to listen deeply to someone and not just
hear them. At times Active listening requires utilizing many of the other human
senses to learn more about them. Like the cologne they have on, are they right or left handed, what are some repetitive
words and phrases they use, and of course, asking the right questions. All this
information goes a long way into understanding people and their situations so
much better.<o:p></o:p><p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">What I want to zone in on today is something that isn’t so
easily realized and that is perspective. Better said, how people view or
identify with things given a part or a whole of a subject, whether it is fact
or fiction, but none the less, we make a decision on what we want to believe it
to be. This choice we make is called perspective. Websters Dictionary defines
it as “the capacity to view things in their true relations or relative
importance”. Or, the way someone sees the things that occur, effect, or involve
them, and then make an assessment, and move forward with that decision. I say
that because perspective is a decision after all, and like any decision, can be
changed.</p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEg9PV2WdJ7rqMFhEicPAlSBzPD7Sp_o_T3X3uQHRWhXoJdgWiCfZKrV_yH9h72WdjQocCR497Px0tSxc2XwI0lK7_f9dGL-yqB12stFQdXdwCtAbkzWDzZlR-XDpp00cx3zjvOouY-YjuPbQPQL9ZztgI3jvAeaHhU4QH1ABlfsp6g7JFwvTlHAsKyN=s5656" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="3182" data-original-width="5656" height="180" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEg9PV2WdJ7rqMFhEicPAlSBzPD7Sp_o_T3X3uQHRWhXoJdgWiCfZKrV_yH9h72WdjQocCR497Px0tSxc2XwI0lK7_f9dGL-yqB12stFQdXdwCtAbkzWDzZlR-XDpp00cx3zjvOouY-YjuPbQPQL9ZztgI3jvAeaHhU4QH1ABlfsp6g7JFwvTlHAsKyN=s320" width="320" /></a></div><br /> <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The way people choose to see
things directly impacts how they will respond to it. Put into everyday terms,
your perspective determines how the rest of your day goes. Whether moment by
moment, day to day, or longer, your choice of perspective guides you to operate
from that belief. My point is that if that original thought is negative, more
than likely your behavior will lean in on the negative bent. The opposite is
true of course, if you choose to see something as positive, then you will lean
into the positive side. In essence, perspective is a major force that regulates
your behavior, mood, and yes, words one chooses to converse with. It seems that
we should consider our perspectives are due for a healthy checkup and see where
we may stand on certain things.<o:p></o:p><p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">Now that we have familiarized ourselves as to what perspective
is. Wouldn’t it be nice to have alternative perspective choices when we cross
situations that require us to form a perspective or maybe even getting the
opportunity to amend or change our perspective. What this presents is an open
door to someone else’s world, their thinking, how and why they make the choices
they make to be able to have a perspective about something. In the work that I
do with men, I can say that this enables me to better connect with a person so
that our relationship can grow and get stronger due to that understanding. At
times, knowing why someone questions my perspective is very helpful to keep me
on my toes because I can be challenged for my perspective and at given time. I
have to also say that if someone’s viewpoint sounds and feels better than mine,
I gladly adapt to theirs. This is beneficial because it gives us a new insight,
slices away at our selfishness, and opens our mind to greater worlds of ideas
and suggestions.<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEireg0PFYNLhT5Wyc4li_b-_dFYQ7Fr1kBuc7jCoc0RyZMeHq147lHzrJ4vQF4xW7DLJsDDxs7vw8vyUtPdZmowzkw0zMUJrZjCnObmKbY2nNPs_hHFetTgUyT1jw6FYAdtonCR6j2d9V-TJVaHvNJxBmTSagYOzTJyN8UBX7aMLNsenAt53lyr_wXO=s5568" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="5568" data-original-width="3712" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEireg0PFYNLhT5Wyc4li_b-_dFYQ7Fr1kBuc7jCoc0RyZMeHq147lHzrJ4vQF4xW7DLJsDDxs7vw8vyUtPdZmowzkw0zMUJrZjCnObmKbY2nNPs_hHFetTgUyT1jw6FYAdtonCR6j2d9V-TJVaHvNJxBmTSagYOzTJyN8UBX7aMLNsenAt53lyr_wXO=s320" width="213" /></a></div>If this is true, then why is it so difficult for us to see
it up front? Why do we have to first try to help someone see our point of view
and halfway listen to understand theirs? Why is there a resistance wall that
rises when a man hears something other than his opinion? I believe it is due to
a very small but very important trait and that is listening. Men do not have a
strong ally in their listening skills as time has proven<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>time and time again. If you don’t believe me,
ask most women, especially wives. Ask them if they feel like their husbands
rarely listen to them. It’s true! Men have a terrible time listening to what’s
being said instead of hearing or perceiving something totally different. This isn’t
a rarity nor an anomaly just pure old fashion listening skills. Better said,
the lack of them.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Why is it such a big
deal to listen attentively? Well, because most of the conflict men face can be
pretty much eliminated, or at the very least, made to sting less. We guys may
say, “I am very open minded and invite new ideas from anyone that wants to share them with me”. Actually, we may say this but we’re not really that open
minded or that inviting of new thoughts or concepts. We want to appear and
gesture like we are, but deep inside any open door opens only slightly and not
for long periods of time. The imbalance here is that we like to admit we have
an open door policy but we will not admit that it is limited. What this causes
is the loss of extremely beneficial information that, if we allowed, could make
us better people. When and if we did this, our entire perspective of most
things would improve for the better, we could have better mental health, and our
relational values would be impacted greatly. In essence, we would be happier,
more motivated, and have more to contribute in social circles.<o:p></o:p><p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">So…going back to how my perceptions color my world, well you
get the idea as we walked through the examples I spoke to. What you do with the
information and how you allow it to grow you or not, there is no denying that how
we see things will place us on a specific path of definition and living. We can
choose the right path or the left path, it doesn’t matter. What really matters
is how my beliefs provide for my quality of life. If I recognize one thing, it’s
that when a man comes across something where he is faced with challenges in dealing
with it, he will tag it, place it in his back pocket, and then pull it out at
the next opportunity to express his views on it. It is his final viewpoint, or
perception of it, that will color his world and dictate a positive or negative
response. Someone said, “when you change the way you look at things, the things
you look at often change.” It’s a good saying I believe and perhaps we need
some of <i>that </i>color in our lives. <o:p></o:p></p>Carloshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15161603300997030981noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7908523645990545573.post-50333441789655413722021-11-26T17:38:00.000-06:002021-11-26T17:38:40.506-06:00The Strength of Vulnerability<p> </p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 12pt; line-height: 107%;">I have had,
and still have, the pleasure and honor to lead and mentor quite a few men in my
lifetime. There’s something to be said about the bond between these men and
myself that I pray carries them long after I am gone and just a memory. I was
taught early that the strength of a man is strongest when he is vulnerable. I
did say vulnerable. That word that carries so much distaste for men who walk
around defeated because in their minds it means having to share their feelings,
being really touchy feely, and perhaps worst of all, having to hug longer than
the cultural prescription of three pats on the back and you’re done. If it is
anything, it certainly is not any of what I just named.<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 12pt; line-height: 107%;">A few of the
men say they’re just not wired for it since young and were taught by their dad
what it meant to be a man. In addition, it is absolutely not in their character
or personality. Well of course neither of these is true as we are taught that
God made us in His image, that means His attributes and likeness. If that is
correct, then we definitely have a built-in ability to feel, cry, to sense
emotional pain and also enjoy the many joys in our life. I’ve been with men at
sporting events and believe me…men can rock when it comes to verbalizing
support, anger, or joy. Yessiree bob, all they do is open their mouth and all
of it comes out. Don’t tell me you’re not built that way. Honestly though as
good as all those are, vulnerability is mostly about building a bond of trust.
The kind of trust that one man can have with another. Trust where they each
know you have each other’s back; young men say,”a brother from another mother”.
There may be other names, but they are all supported by TRUST. Trust is kind of
like the backbone of a successful relationship where two men learn from each
other and at the same time overlook any faults or failures. Never saying I told
you, so but instead reaching down and offering a hand to rise up. A hand with
no judgment, no criticism, but merely accepting each other which makes it
comfortable as we walk through our fears and weaknesses. This effort is what
being vulnerable is all about.</span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 12pt; line-height: 107%;"></span></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEhev_q--5FI2n3RBCobpnMDl6uTQvOx4Ah2UM04q4YYEabf4WT0C8uF7zHWk4DT1OsD_YFZR0-zoGo-2scNkUYzitqN1QqEgEbplRt50PoOndad_IAf-SNfdu4QPwtiwM6JBkTTNUu8NQ-Acv8V4gUbA2DVLDHvXWDtiBuKM-cFufbBVCBI7wvRwBhc=s2048" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="2048" data-original-width="1517" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEhev_q--5FI2n3RBCobpnMDl6uTQvOx4Ah2UM04q4YYEabf4WT0C8uF7zHWk4DT1OsD_YFZR0-zoGo-2scNkUYzitqN1QqEgEbplRt50PoOndad_IAf-SNfdu4QPwtiwM6JBkTTNUu8NQ-Acv8V4gUbA2DVLDHvXWDtiBuKM-cFufbBVCBI7wvRwBhc=s320" width="237" /></a></div><p></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 12pt; line-height: 107%;">As a mentor
I try to be as authentic and honest with what I say and do. I express to the
men in my small groups that I would like the same courtesy, but I also
understand that being vulnerable is not something that comes easy, so I
patiently work with them, listen, and advise when asked. Eventually they hear
something that opens their minds and hearts up to be able to express something
in the group or one on one. Many times, something no one knew but had held onto
until the time was right. Unless I am asked, I never comment on it and I never
try to appear surprised. This is my way of easing someone’s caution but also
walking them through a very unknown and uncomfortable position. Honestly, handing
them a safe and caring attitude. I know that in this world full of unfulfilled
promises, hurts and pains, these men struggle to be real and authentic. They
may really want to, but they have been so impacted by so much negativity in the
world they face daily. I just try to walk beside them in these times. Although
there have been times when I am asked some of the hardest questions I’ve ever
had to answer, I do, or at the very least, if I don’t have an answer, I express
I don’t have an answer. They need to know that I am not all knowing nor that I
have the answer to all of life’s questions. I just happen to have lived long
enough to have gained knowledge and experience that I am happy to share with
them.<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 12pt; line-height: 107%;"><o:p> </o:p></span><span style="font-size: 12pt;">There’s been
a few times that a few men stated they had no problem with being vulnerable and
as I soon found out, a very small percentage of these men truly are not afraid
of it. I find out rather quickly whether they have had solid teaching and
strong male bonds somewhere along their young lives and were taught the value
of being authentic and honest. This is a good thing and I wish more of our
young men were taught this or at least had someone in their life to display it
for them. This would help them so much along the way to becoming mature and
loving men. It also plays a big part in their understanding of doing life altogether
and how to work with and adjust when needed, the special relationships that
come their way.</span></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEiThcVgbmeVXnxMkCCsGG0lte6md4zAgv_bBfoR375Yo5UG4llWG3LeF1SddwJgWxFcORI9GSGEMglyPxJTqpdK0GbsWKb3i48L3bqqt-NHM-ofWga-IeP4RSxJ0IPHBk8Ho8MaIYg8gpO8knfPLW6IlDSZ1oezv1s2VDtf2-CxlWaXL2eYRnHXKCsr=s2048" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="2048" data-original-width="1638" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEiThcVgbmeVXnxMkCCsGG0lte6md4zAgv_bBfoR375Yo5UG4llWG3LeF1SddwJgWxFcORI9GSGEMglyPxJTqpdK0GbsWKb3i48L3bqqt-NHM-ofWga-IeP4RSxJ0IPHBk8Ho8MaIYg8gpO8knfPLW6IlDSZ1oezv1s2VDtf2-CxlWaXL2eYRnHXKCsr=s320" width="256" /></a></div><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 12pt; line-height: 107%;">I have seen
these young men take small steps forward, and sometimes take two steps backward.
No surprise there and it quickly becomes a teaching moment. They also make
large steps forward but when they do this level of forward progress, the large
backward steps are not as frequent or as large. Why? I believe that when a
young man believes something and it is major for them, they quickly adopt and
operate out of this new belief, and it is now serving them. This type of
recognition takes time and patience which is not something guys are accustomed
to. I mean they hate waiting for progress, patience, after all, is not
something they learn early starting with their home of origin all the way until
they come to me. They have a lot of work to undo many things and relearn how to
do them. Like I said, patience is key. When men connect with these new ideas of
being yourself with authenticity and honesty, they connect well with other men
that have walked through the same ruts they did and now are on the other side
of things. Even with these positive and healthier levels in men, there may
still be a lot of work to do in this area. I say this because there is still
this built-in mindset of masculinity that is so attached to men. Heck, for that
matter, all of us. We still walk around with a traditional value of competition
against the hierarchy of our old flesh and protection from those that would
threaten to out do us. When this happens, we see ourselves as “less than”, that
we didn’t “step up to the plate”, and the minds old trick, “I am a failure.”</span></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEhKAgRNwThcIorJyZDsOUhQRic9Tcfna8OCHt77Ap6iZCf533VytpWrKGLVa-CFKPAM-W_qEDqUzcn9MvulehfC53-q5lUBLwT9rgmVLBsHkl2snmy3Bp39MPa3uYQEAT2TAv0I_UGUIJHvADExAmvxkDDtMKIhV94tmqtHj84VAT_ESLyjbc9WZv26=s2048" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="2048" data-original-width="1365" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEhKAgRNwThcIorJyZDsOUhQRic9Tcfna8OCHt77Ap6iZCf533VytpWrKGLVa-CFKPAM-W_qEDqUzcn9MvulehfC53-q5lUBLwT9rgmVLBsHkl2snmy3Bp39MPa3uYQEAT2TAv0I_UGUIJHvADExAmvxkDDtMKIhV94tmqtHj84VAT_ESLyjbc9WZv26=s320" width="213" /></a></div><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 12pt; line-height: 107%;">Men…when you
try to be different by being honest and authentic, you are never a failure. You
DO step up to the plate of life and handle whatever pitches are thrown your
way. Sometimes a home run, and sometimes you strike out. This is called experience and if used
correctly, it will serve you well and often.<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 12pt; line-height: 107%;">There’s a
verse in the Bible King David wrote and I try to always remember it when
someone new comes to me asking for help. I hope you believe the same because
it’s true.<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><i><span style="font-size: 12pt; line-height: 107%;">David
writes, “for it was You who created my inward parts; you knit me together in my
mother's womb. I will praise You because I have been fearfully and wonderfully
made”.<o:p></o:p></span></i></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 12pt; line-height: 107%;">You are my
brother, you are a wonderful man that is capable of many things in your life so
believe me when I say, “stop and breathe” and as you do this, you will learn too
“just be you”. This is the strength of being vulnerable. It brings out who you
really are not what people may think you are.<o:p></o:p></span></p>Carloshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15161603300997030981noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7908523645990545573.post-12479451700753452462021-11-12T09:59:00.000-06:002021-11-12T09:59:11.853-06:00To Choose or Not To Choose...<p style="text-align: center;"> </p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEgkQdfItFjHZLpnaYrsmJbJ66PDfO1SJKKmVHCg4sPcoXgntcFfM5O9eYI1ujMvNhayIZOJQOcGbgHmZdgKztdx7u0Qwyv9xHSVJo80RDDPCz23SqAvYAUPPX3Pty_ZQJAJ8lDeileEC08lKfY--JYlxI8yz7ZunwhCMZzYxUDHaVhbZmibkDyAVlQU=s2048" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em; text-align: right;"><img border="0" data-original-height="2048" data-original-width="1411" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEgkQdfItFjHZLpnaYrsmJbJ66PDfO1SJKKmVHCg4sPcoXgntcFfM5O9eYI1ujMvNhayIZOJQOcGbgHmZdgKztdx7u0Qwyv9xHSVJo80RDDPCz23SqAvYAUPPX3Pty_ZQJAJ8lDeileEC08lKfY--JYlxI8yz7ZunwhCMZzYxUDHaVhbZmibkDyAVlQU=s320" width="220" /></a>8:30 am and here I wait at a local coffee shop waiting for
an old friend and fellow men’s instructor so that we can catch up and enjoy the
fellowship. Even though we are now attending different men’s groups and haven’t
spoken to each other except over a text here and there, when he gets here it’s
like we were never apart and just picked up where we left off. We caught up
initially on mutual friends, fortunes, and a few failures. Ultimately, we wound
up discussing our current groups, the studies, and the mentorship aspect we’ve
adapted and dole out taking the conversation into the good and bad choices we
as guys make throughout the day. Afterall, each of our lives are made up of
choices we’ve made over the years. <span> </span><span> </span><span> </span><span> </span><span> </span><span> </span><span> </span><span> </span><span> </span><span> </span><span> </span><span> </span><span> </span><span> </span><span> </span><span> </span><span> </span><span> </span><span> </span></p><p class="MsoNormal">We agree that life a matter of choices. We make choices
every day at most every step and turn we take. From the time we open our eyes
to a new day to the time we close our eyes to end that same day. Some choices
are so routine that we can make them without even thinking about it, while
other choices, take processing time and consideration to make sure we make an
intelligent and educated choice. Although decisions we make may not be that
hard sometimes, I believe that when our emotions get caught up in the choices
we must make, it’s more difficult because as men, we aren’t necessarily fond of
displaying our emotions especially when it comes to deeper feelings. We shy
away and maybe prefer not to make the choice or perhaps delay the choice. Why?
Because we want to consider the options so that we can logically place them in
a comfort box where it is much easier for us, since we all have some sort of
comfort box. Decision-making may not always be tough, but the circumstances, or
the people associated with those choices, make it hard because of the emotions
involved around those choices. <o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEiq9BJK_B1NeAyzWckeOqE6FQJEdrtxb788z4ksb2HLHyaaCF-n8cFwsJWvmsyi7mp-G9jJX3CnUHzwqOopdxqtleFwL28YKvootlyBs3BbdlZzEaTH_-9_gRIJTk8z6Pk3oqjSRyIHqb7IrXg3F7gjRcmSwk0Tgu75mFLsRaSCHSYvf_QpSt5ImFoo=s2048" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="2048" data-original-width="1638" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEiq9BJK_B1NeAyzWckeOqE6FQJEdrtxb788z4ksb2HLHyaaCF-n8cFwsJWvmsyi7mp-G9jJX3CnUHzwqOopdxqtleFwL28YKvootlyBs3BbdlZzEaTH_-9_gRIJTk8z6Pk3oqjSRyIHqb7IrXg3F7gjRcmSwk0Tgu75mFLsRaSCHSYvf_QpSt5ImFoo=s320" width="256" /></a></div>What’s the point?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>I’ve found that assertive people often make difficult decisions during
the worst of times and people that decide not to make a choice, get stuck along
the way. This is part of the reason some people are successful while others are
not. The deal is that choices come our way daily, easy ones and hard ones, they
keep coming and as men, we need to be able to take them on and make the choices
that move us forward. Certainly not backward. There’s not much difference
between men who are assertive in their choices and men who postpone or are slow
to choose, but there is one distinguishable mental strength between the two and
that is an internal risk factor that doesn’t permit them to make a choice based
on their emotions or feelings. Instead, they are calculating, process oriented,
and once all known factors are considered, they make the choice. Come what may,
they make a choice. Even not choosing is a “choice”.<o:p></o:p><p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">I believe we all understand there is a variety of circumstances
we face daily, maybe even moment by moment, but there is no getting around the
fact that we have to make choices. From medical decisions to which restaurant we
want to eat in, these require choices. Honestly, when you think about some of
these choices, we just go with what we are feeling at those moments. For
example, what do I feel like eating, and based on that, you choose the diner.
When the decision is harder like a medical procedure we must endure, we compile
all the data and facts we can to help make that decision but in the end we
choose something. In essence I’m just saying that we cannot escape choices. </p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEhtHyYDL7XW7E0v9EJBBlHbuj1bY--uwVmPZMQjkmTlwsDsmr4RcildoFTG-LueRPHiThX_QSzgi6KXrfYNPelXV9b9oQfPvZIGv94Mf1fYRf99VpMdLmJhTeAlsNHmTYc8QyRhndrOwz0c-9XCQARGlkjoGoZxX9ovEHIzNerS7--gEo7XF4W_TrtH=s2048" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="2048" data-original-width="1365" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEhtHyYDL7XW7E0v9EJBBlHbuj1bY--uwVmPZMQjkmTlwsDsmr4RcildoFTG-LueRPHiThX_QSzgi6KXrfYNPelXV9b9oQfPvZIGv94Mf1fYRf99VpMdLmJhTeAlsNHmTYc8QyRhndrOwz0c-9XCQARGlkjoGoZxX9ovEHIzNerS7--gEo7XF4W_TrtH=s320" width="213" /></a></div><br />So
when you are faced with something to select, consider many things that are
important to you. How does the decision affect you, your family, and is it
something that can be moved down the road to have time to process for a period
or does it require immediate action? I guess when we bring it down to a simple
level, we want to think before we speak. If you have time, of course, but if it
needs a right now answer, choose as best as you can given what you have. These
are the things we later call experiences which contribute to maturity in
choosing.<o:p></o:p><p></p>Carloshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15161603300997030981noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7908523645990545573.post-16062691139449149562021-10-07T13:00:00.000-05:002021-10-07T13:00:07.912-05:00The Worth of Your Word<p> </p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%;">First off, I
do apologize for being very late with my next blog episode. Simply put, it just
kept getting pushed further down in order of priorities, but I did promise
certain people that I would be consistent on my episodes so after some serious
conviction, I’m on it.<o:p></o:p></span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%;"><br /></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%;">So what’s
the deal with us not meeting our commitments or promises? I’ve been thinking
about it and thought I would bring it up here because in many ways, it seems
that we have put aside how important our word can be. I am noticing more often
than not, that it is a growing problem in society. I hadn’t really paid
attention to it until recently when I was to meet someone for a BBQ lunch but
wound up eating alone. As I sat there, I began to work through some thoughts
that enabled me to begin remembering how many times people are late or no
shows, which led to other things that seem to be in a pattern of lateness.
Restaurant food, flights, meetings at work, weddings, yes and even church
service that goes on and on. These things I believe we understand will be late
time and time again. Heck, I’m good for a few times of being late too. One
really doesn’t think about it too much on how often we’re late on our
commitments to people. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We make them all
the time and from that point pick and choose which ones we do first, second,
and so on.</span></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEh8ROsiJj9xzP7WIfK9s3c3bN2BAMcmRj_x0kndjdTSUrGsM3NVJeMV_yPkxoy4ip1FaTMJCLSmE-gAuLqu_scJ84VHa3CP_amHmK2SMKRYGkjzy2WIv7jo2QuEH3g07dEbLMZJ3-zQ18ytrbWlK4jsVu70fOs_PRRUH4UeoIBDnlI8MwMFSJhW6WNI=s2048" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1536" data-original-width="2048" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEh8ROsiJj9xzP7WIfK9s3c3bN2BAMcmRj_x0kndjdTSUrGsM3NVJeMV_yPkxoy4ip1FaTMJCLSmE-gAuLqu_scJ84VHa3CP_amHmK2SMKRYGkjzy2WIv7jo2QuEH3g07dEbLMZJ3-zQ18ytrbWlK4jsVu70fOs_PRRUH4UeoIBDnlI8MwMFSJhW6WNI=s320" width="320" /></a></div><br /><o:p></o:p><p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%;">In the
greater context of life, the word “late”, is a small word with four letters and
perhaps lacks the real and passionate definition it really deserves in our lives.
So, because we may not give it too much credence, it may seem like a “no big
deal” thing to us but, are we missing how huge it may be to someone else? Someone
that is waiting on you to meet that commitment or promise you made to them. As
an example, if I make plans to meet with someone at 10 a.m. but don’t watch the
clock or allow something else to distract me, I will definitely be late. Being
late is not something new because sometimes you’re late, sometimes someone else
is late, people are late for various reasons, and I honestly believe that it is
unavoidable. I put context to this because it can be frustrating, couldn’t it?
Especially when you have a limited amount of time for a meeting or perhaps a
deadline that is looming, but you cannot get your work done until someone else
does theirs, but guess what? They’re late! It seems to be the way of life now
and we’ve drifted away from what is right, especially when it comes to having
made a commitment to someone. Keep in mind, I understand someone will be late,
occasionally, because some things are beyond some people’s control which causes
them to be late. Here’s the key word…<i>sometimes </i>it happens. It shouldn’t
be the norm but he exception.<o:p></o:p></span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%;"><br /></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%;">I’d like to
share about two guys I meet with often. One of them, I would say you can set
your clock to because he’s consistently late. I mean like 9 times out of 10
he’s late. I also have another buddy who you can set your clock to as well but
for the total opposite reason. This young man thinks that 10-15 minutes early
is on time, and on time is late! Gosh…how can two typical young men be so
drastically different? All in all, the fact that I enjoy meeting with these
guys simply allows me to adjust my expectations and knowing this has given me
the opportunity to plan the meetings accordingly. It’s not a problem for me, but
I keep thinking about the folks who have been promised something by them and
are expecting something that means a lot to them. I put myself in that mix
thinking how many times have I committed or promised something to someone that
is waiting on me? I am learning to dig deep in search of any possible missed
opportunities so I can rectify them as soon as possible.<o:p></o:p></span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%;"><br /></span></p><p class="MsoNormal"></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEj1_mPOAz2KhrmkQhmuM0bhV2uRabq6WzFBymKXoZ0hBkp25XrtvLgCGXYZwU_RS9hYi8SQ0Cs9eFDKwr3Z8wSI_fu_KPIPzG3dK5h-Rzr2WYMnHeCcupzVnhYTFisJjZgbwu_RE_joqci59lqG4Dl5r-AIGoMO_8Ycv6Yv50gFpnG2fsMPPmG7eSoj=s2048" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="2048" data-original-width="1638" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEj1_mPOAz2KhrmkQhmuM0bhV2uRabq6WzFBymKXoZ0hBkp25XrtvLgCGXYZwU_RS9hYi8SQ0Cs9eFDKwr3Z8wSI_fu_KPIPzG3dK5h-Rzr2WYMnHeCcupzVnhYTFisJjZgbwu_RE_joqci59lqG4Dl5r-AIGoMO_8Ycv6Yv50gFpnG2fsMPPmG7eSoj=s320" width="256" /></a></div><p></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%;">I well
understand that everyone has an opinion on the definition of what being late
means. In addition, I also understand that there may be a difference of
opinions on how we meet our commitments. That’s a given, I think, but consider
this, what if we stepped outside of ourselves and our definition to a viewpoint
less considered, and perhaps more important than our own. The importance of what
our word means to someone else. When we commit to or promise someone something,
how do we meet that commitment? How do we make that promise come true? We have
different means that we display it, talk about it, and expect it from others.
This is not bad, just different and we do the best we can as it affects us or
others. <o:p></o:p></span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%;"><br /></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It is said that every man commits to or
promises at least 10-12 things in one day. If that is true, I have to assume
that each of these fits into categories of priority. Some are very important
and others not so much. We may fulfil the important ones but what about the
minor ones? To the person you committed to, even though minor to you, it may mean
something major to them! Is this person of less value than the one you made
great effort to meet your commitment? I would like to say that I hope not, but
the reality of it is that in our hearts maybe these two individuals are of
equal value, but here’s the deal, when we don’t meet our commitment, our
promise, our words begin to lose value to those whose promise was not met.
Obviously, in our hearts we don’t feel that way but what we do not control is
how our words, met or unmet, make that person feel. What we display with our
actions after we commit or promise. We can of course apologize for our error
but given enough of these “misses”, our words become ineffective and at worst,
unbelievable. It is a bad situation when your words have no value to someone,
when you or your name come up to that individual and all they can think about
are the let downs you gave them. No more trust, no more calling upon you when
help is needed, and then slowly their attention and care from you and towards
you, fades like the day into night. </span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><br /><span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%;"></span></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEjEXkmvwzUHTD0hK_jBmC6INfiGE2xOp1cb60vnTUliznVDDikUhWn0yj5S9tNtuPi8XtPo5YIazokA-17kzgXw2XqROI_mb1WQwJyWkvDe4EHf2JZc3kNoQciwM_rLmueOTyanOSV3SvyOOHMfYYaeGv6lIKYyrNERPpiwJs5VfzOFvrEfETXavBrd=s2048" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1365" data-original-width="2048" height="213" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEjEXkmvwzUHTD0hK_jBmC6INfiGE2xOp1cb60vnTUliznVDDikUhWn0yj5S9tNtuPi8XtPo5YIazokA-17kzgXw2XqROI_mb1WQwJyWkvDe4EHf2JZc3kNoQciwM_rLmueOTyanOSV3SvyOOHMfYYaeGv6lIKYyrNERPpiwJs5VfzOFvrEfETXavBrd=s320" width="320" /></a></div><p></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%;">I grew up in
a time when a man’s word meant everything. A time when fist fights broke out
because someone was called a liar. When sometimes words and a handshake was all
it took to complete a deal. A trust and bond that men treasured and honored.
What happened? Where has the virtue gone? I still see it in some of our young
men today but sadly, I haven’t seen it in others. I cannot give that to anyone.
I can’t give honor to someone that doesn’t want it or perhaps doesn’t really
know what it is. Perhaps they never had anyone display it to him in life,
perhaps dishonor has been a way of life for him from very young and that’s all
they know. They don’t know another way. But because this is something that can
be learned, it’s never too late. All it takes is a desire to not only be
valued, but to value others. To want your word to mean something to someone, to
everyone. That when you speak, people that know you, know that you are a man of
integrity, honor, and whatever you say you will do, you will do to completion.
That’s a man of integrity. How can we walk together to achieve that for us?
Someone wrote this quote that I have treasured in my heart, “people may not
remember a lot of what you say, but they will always remember how you made them
feel”.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I want that for me and even more,
I want that for you too!<b><o:p></o:p></b></span></p>Carloshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15161603300997030981noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7908523645990545573.post-65785595998927174472021-08-15T14:40:00.000-05:002021-08-15T14:40:58.472-05:00Looking For The Why...<p><span style="font-size: 12pt;">I am
reminded all too frequently about the bad in the world by the never-ending
issues that people face, many of which are displayed on social media, network
television and the local radio stations. It’s all around and there is
absolutely no way any of this can be avoided. This has been a topic of
discussion by many people, groups, and even within many organizations and yet,
no one seems to have the answer as to why this is. In my small but intimate
men’s group, this has also invaded our peace and comfort by raising its evil
head by something that has happened to one of us, all of us, or to someone we
know. Maybe it’s just a news story we come across somewhere and we discuss it
during our time together. </span><span style="font-size: 12pt; mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><span style="font-size: 12pt;">All around the
world, bad things happen to good people…and then seemingly, life goes on.</span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><br /><span style="font-size: 12pt; line-height: 107%;"></span></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: 12pt; line-height: 107%;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhvNEnWo_t0N__faG5fBakvghnsm-2qLxTumJSjklXohQyY1s9p2rAS2gfX-n8Pzyhh56AF38fsJq-WgPELdecMroiRv6qd_4tZHjNN29RTrD72xAuAlm6M_5tVP3j4R4x9d0CUSX9Wngw/s2048/Photo+by+Gadiel+Lazano+on+Unsplash.jpg" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1365" data-original-width="2048" height="213" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhvNEnWo_t0N__faG5fBakvghnsm-2qLxTumJSjklXohQyY1s9p2rAS2gfX-n8Pzyhh56AF38fsJq-WgPELdecMroiRv6qd_4tZHjNN29RTrD72xAuAlm6M_5tVP3j4R4x9d0CUSX9Wngw/s320/Photo+by+Gadiel+Lazano+on+Unsplash.jpg" width="320" /></a></span></div><p></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 12pt;">Let me just
say at the onset of this blog, I don’t have the answer to this either, but I do
love to dig deep into the occurrence and at the very least try to understand as
much reasoning as possible to get a better handle on it. I look around me at
family and friends and I am greatly aware of some of the disappointments in
life for many of them. Perhaps a death of a loved one, loss of jobs, divorce,
abuses that occur to the elderly and children, incurable diseases, and so on
and so on. So much destruction of people and of families. Once this question is
on the table, it is soon followed by:</span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 12pt; line-height: 107%;">How do we
cope with this?<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 12pt; line-height: 107%;">How can a
loving God allow this to continue? <o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 12pt; line-height: 107%;">How do I
handle an issue I have no control over, like facing the decision to withhold
artificial life from someone I love because they will never come out of this
incurable sleep? <o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 12pt; line-height: 107%;">How do I
answer that for them? For me? For my family?</span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 12pt;"> </span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><b><i><span style="font-size: 12pt; line-height: 107%;">In his
book entitled When Bad Things Happen to Good People. Rabbi Harold Kushner
writes this uncanny statement, “We could bear nearly any pain or disappointment
if we thought there was a reason behind it, a purpose, to it.” </span></i></b><span style="font-size: 12pt; line-height: 107%;">Seriously?? This quote is even
difficult to rationalize for me even if I knew there was a reason behind a
major disappointment. I do know this though, in the middle of pain and hurt,
there is a God in heaven that knows all, and I feel that if I ask Him the
question, He may choose to allow me to know the why, but I also recognize that
if He chooses not to let me know, He has a reason for it. I guess because I do
have a faith that believes in a great and good God, the concept of knowing or
not knowing answers comes through with a comfort and peace that I do not get by
trying to make sense of Rabbi Kushner’s quote.</span><span style="font-size: 12pt;"> </span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 12pt; line-height: 107%;"></span></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: 12pt; line-height: 107%;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj_eAwx3lxPxc9gS0XY4Gj5_pWektKQi9vpnpAoYP7OktFa0Tnk8yZBlaDhucn9vmhHsvizeFdqVoGYxn0N9c9yYOrEeyTBo4Mm2weIBS3zsZ13bCo6Wu7wG9AkgI4FiaYD7syk3R_ymoU/s2048/Sad+couple+photo+by+Priscilla+Du+Preez.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1365" data-original-width="2048" height="213" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj_eAwx3lxPxc9gS0XY4Gj5_pWektKQi9vpnpAoYP7OktFa0Tnk8yZBlaDhucn9vmhHsvizeFdqVoGYxn0N9c9yYOrEeyTBo4Mm2weIBS3zsZ13bCo6Wu7wG9AkgI4FiaYD7syk3R_ymoU/s320/Sad+couple+photo+by+Priscilla+Du+Preez.jpg" width="320" /></a></span></div><p></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 12pt; line-height: 107%;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>In the time between 2003 and 2004, my wife was
diagnosed with a form of cancer that had potential to become life threatening.
We had experienced adversity and big life challenges before, but nothing like
this. This was devastating to us. We were in a new city, new jobs, no family or
close friends that we could take comfort with. It was just us! We never really
had any illusions of immunity to the hurts in the world but it was like in one
swift kick, our lives were upended and we had nowhere to go, no one to talk to,
nothing to cling to except our love for each other and our faith in our God.
That’s it, nothing around us for hundreds of miles so it seemed and yet, after
the initial shock, we both settled in to trust and believe there was a reason.
Somewhere and for some unknown reason this happened. Honestly, I was all up in
God’s face asking, “why did this happen?” or “Why us?” Yes, I admit I was a
wreck, and I was just the husband but when I observed my wife, I stood
breathlessly admiring her as there was a peace on her face that just seemed to
smile. When people asked her if she struggled with such a diagnosis, she simply
and characteristically responded with, “yes in the beginning, but now I just
know that God has this under control, and it will turn out for the best. All
things work out for a greater good.” For several months following the
diagnosis, we lived with the worst of thoughts and lived with tremendous
uncertainty. Somewhere along this journey, it all dissipated, like a mist when
the sun rises, it just away.</span><span style="font-size: 12pt;"> Since then, we’ve never looked back.</span></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br /></div><span style="font-size: 12pt; line-height: 107%;"><o:p></o:p></span><p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 12pt; line-height: 107%;"><o:p> </o:p></span><span style="font-size: 12pt;">That’s not a
shout of victory as it is more acknowledgment that even when we were facing a
bleak challenge, we were given the peace needed during this storm. Again, not
that we are super Christians or the best of believers, but at that time we
trusted Him, knowing it could mean that we would not be together for the rest
of our lives. I know it sounds weird, crazy, and maybe even considered
religious but it’s not. As honestly as I can express it, we just carried it
forward in faith and at one point even evolved to leaving the diagnosis behind
and rarely spoke about it. </span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><br /><span style="font-size: 12pt;"></span></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: 12pt;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEizauI2VqJFKqgGkbfbHXOjiDeZuxfDS_OD8849K78C4Lp1SSBqwqvVLuJyiY0wBiaBFeIuEEs3arD-_wQHgFb0r0pFMd4b-k3XtRkf0gbXCdCFGpgGUdlk9usZ4ASdQyVWJMVI_RBQdwk/s2048/Rocks+w+Question+Mark+in+Middle+by+Ana+Municio.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1367" data-original-width="2048" height="214" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEizauI2VqJFKqgGkbfbHXOjiDeZuxfDS_OD8849K78C4Lp1SSBqwqvVLuJyiY0wBiaBFeIuEEs3arD-_wQHgFb0r0pFMd4b-k3XtRkf0gbXCdCFGpgGUdlk9usZ4ASdQyVWJMVI_RBQdwk/s320/Rocks+w+Question+Mark+in+Middle+by+Ana+Municio.jpg" width="320" /></a></span></div><p></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 12pt;">Here's the
thing…when we go through things in our lives, particularly bad or negative, we
are accustomed to knowing the reason why we are experiencing these things. For
all intents and purposes, we seem to be a people that seeks meaning and
“answers” to any questions we may have. We feel like all things must have a
purpose for being because our curious minds do not adjust well or make sense of
random or unexplainable occurrences. We want, no, we demand answers and until
we have them, we will use every breath we can draw, trying to peel back the
onion layers of any issue. I get tired just thinking about all that energy I
wasted to only wind up back at the beginning of said issues. I’ve even spoken
to people that feel that they are being punished for, only God knows, what they
have done in their past. A self-proclaiming guilty verdict and we accept it
because it makes sense. Never mind that there was no court attorney, or judge,
or any for or against testimony, no jury, just our own minds that cite
internally, “guilty as charged”! Now this verdict makes sense, doesn’t it? We
accept it because we are starved for a reason, a purpose, an announcement that
I am going through this because of this or that. My mind and brain are now
comforted, now fully functional, and deal with the sentence given. It doesn’t
matter what it is, it only matters that I came across the reason the adversity
came into my life.</span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br /></div><span style="font-size: 12pt;">Sounds crazy
right? Yet, we live it, do it, and proclaim it most of the time. The truth of
the matter is that bad things happen to us plain and simple. Some have meaning
or reason and others don’t but because we are emotionally charged people, we
feel like we can make sense of these tragedies by giving them a reason, a meaning,
a label that absolutely makes all the sense in the world to us. If we were
honest, it really doesn’t, but we are comfort creatures so if this provides
comfort, we’re in.</span><p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 12pt; line-height: 107%;"><o:p> </o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 12pt; line-height: 107%;">Now, after
all of this let me ask you this question because I really want to raise your
awareness of the issue again…. now that something has happened to you how will
you deal with? You cannot just give it a name and move on. In a manner of
speaking, since you named it, you birthed it and now it really comes alive in
your life. Hmmm…just knowing a reason or purpose for what has happened isn’t
enough is it? And so here comes another onion to peel.<o:p></o:p></span></p>Carloshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15161603300997030981noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7908523645990545573.post-27882091783770405932021-07-23T10:51:00.000-05:002021-07-23T10:51:34.613-05:00The Cost of Friendship<p> Sitting in a
coffee shop waiting for my friend to show up so we can catch up from a
seemingly long and unwanted hiatus, I look up as more and more people walk in
together with someone and my curious nature kicks in which allows me to wonder
if they are friends or spouses or perhaps they’re just meeting to discuss some
business. The truth is that because I get to overhear some of their
conversation it provides clues so I can ascertain the relationship. It’s kind
of like a game to me and sometimes I do guess correctly but sometimes I
don’t…oh, sometimes I am way wrong! Being a fan of old fashioned friendship, it
stirs me up to see people laughing, talking, and enjoying one another in what
seems to be close sincere relationships and my heart is warmed for the moment.
I love hearing people act on their friendships in the ways that only they know
the deeper meanings both the giver and receiver. Yes, call me old fashion but
this is true friendship the way it is supposed to be.</p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgkszisynYdio-WkRzYoMFv-HwATUDesqyozbjcQq6SF0AoC-7oScFpa9cm5Ax2NCjluravfKMizqsEaYHOV4Z8_jw1ruZBehazjEpnud94HNu5oouP1_zbuqv1OjHRH2uhGodazSCSgZM/s2048/two+guys+on+bikes+laughing.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="2048" data-original-width="1365" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgkszisynYdio-WkRzYoMFv-HwATUDesqyozbjcQq6SF0AoC-7oScFpa9cm5Ax2NCjluravfKMizqsEaYHOV4Z8_jw1ruZBehazjEpnud94HNu5oouP1_zbuqv1OjHRH2uhGodazSCSgZM/s320/two+guys+on+bikes+laughing.jpg" /></a></div><br /><p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="line-height: 107%;">With this
being said, it brings to mind what J. R. Miller wrote,<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="line-height: 107%;">“To become
another’s friend in the true sense is to take the other into such close, living
fellowship that his life and ours are knit together as one. It is far more than
a pleasant companionship in bright, sunny hours. A genuine friendship is
entirely unselfish. It seeks no benefit or good of its own. It does not
love—for what it may receive—but for what it may give. Its aim is “not to be
served, but to serve” <b>(Mark 10:45).<span style="font-size: 12pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></b></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="line-height: 107%;">This
extremely personal and deeply felt definition comes alive as </span>I continue to
observe those around me and best I can, listen to bits and pieces of their
words back and forth, with their looking at each other or the occasional glance
in a different direction, but engaged none the less.</p><o:p></o:p><p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="line-height: 107%;">Let’s make
it personal, meaning let’s bring it home to you as someone’s friend. Are you
able to be the friend the definition describes? Can your friend say you are
“that” friend? If so, you are truly one in a million, but if not, I ask you,
“why not”? Hear my heart, I don’t judge you one way or the other, but I am just
curious as to your personal assessment of being a friend.<span style="font-size: 12pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="line-height: 107%;">I can say
this, whether or not you feel you’re being the best possible friend to someone,
no one can say that it’s right or wrong. You are who you are and the same goes
for your friend but I would like for you to imagine what the possibility could
be if each person in a relationship were able to be exactly like the verse
above states? Wow, each trying to outserve the other to the point that love was
the driving power behind that friendship. What a difference that would make in
you and in others. It would literally change the way you do life because to
have this for any friend means you are capable of having this for your spouse,
if married, your children and the rest of the family. The world in its present
state would be impacted dramatically. And we all would be the better for it.<span style="font-size: 12pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%;"></span></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhDGdpEM4S_pjIE3lv60YWawQgl1ll3YmL06hqD9m9YL3LUsMIx5V894aodNsWhvDTIuC5pkCnuZnXPLs91nhKVmPNiaCqMtcqUQ_y16G14xSMSgWbm6G024b_gyuGAu2mLbHS5QNcHYng/s2048/kids+together.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1362" data-original-width="2048" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhDGdpEM4S_pjIE3lv60YWawQgl1ll3YmL06hqD9m9YL3LUsMIx5V894aodNsWhvDTIuC5pkCnuZnXPLs91nhKVmPNiaCqMtcqUQ_y16G14xSMSgWbm6G024b_gyuGAu2mLbHS5QNcHYng/s320/kids+together.jpg" width="320" /></a></div><br />So…being or
becoming a friend means what exactly? Seriously…have you ever wondered how good
friendships come about? Do you have any deep friendships with anyone? Let me
tell you that this kind of friend doesn’t just pop up overnight. Sold friends
get there in many ways, many <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>experiences
together, where laughter is a huge part and equally, where tears are shed
together. Here are a few thoughts for you to consider while working out or
working on the kind of friend you may or may not be. True friendship is a very
personal thing because it takes commitment and this means that it demands a
“not give up” attitude and willingness to stay the course, regardless of what
may come. Keep in mind, commitment and convenience are two separate entities
and the difference between the two is that commitment is an effort outward and
convenience is an effort inward. Don’t miss that point because the level of
friend you are or want to be is founded on one or the other. Again, accepting
one or the other does not mean that there is a right one and a wrong one, but
it does mean that the quality of what you are looking for is going to be
founded on either one of them.<o:p></o:p><p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="line-height: 107%;">Friendships can
be inconvenient, meaning it can and will cost you your personal convenience at
times. It also requires spending time with someone in order to build the friendship
from scratch so to speak, but it turns out to be well worth it. Consider that
the effort you put into this friendship means that you invest authentically and
intimately with another. You spill your guts out when needed, listen when
required without trying to “fix” a situation. In other words, if you cannot
share from the deepest parts of who you are then chances are that you’ll just
prepare a shallow relationship and never move beyond that. Then there is
wanting to add your love to the mix, knowing all along that it can be taken
advantage of, rejected, and even tossed aside but any thing that is good has to
be founded in love. Loving someone not for what they can do for you or give
you, but because you are willing to hand it to another person. The way you love
speaks more about the quality of friend you are than the quality of someone
else.<span style="font-size: 12pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="line-height: 107%;"></span></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; font-size: 12pt; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjyzCp5OzaM7nPkME7upD_xuXawGjNG_kXmRmy6rCxxllGbzIAFwEWBBRr_5fAETsfKhRCvpSZsSGHNAeKj24SQsJJuCyRQxo0evUNlx_cGequb1v0_ZvSGI9Y0caY5XxdI95tzQGQVdiQ/s2048/two+guys+on+beach+gimme+5.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="2048" data-original-width="1365" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjyzCp5OzaM7nPkME7upD_xuXawGjNG_kXmRmy6rCxxllGbzIAFwEWBBRr_5fAETsfKhRCvpSZsSGHNAeKj24SQsJJuCyRQxo0evUNlx_cGequb1v0_ZvSGI9Y0caY5XxdI95tzQGQVdiQ/s320/two+guys+on+beach+gimme+5.jpg" /></a></div><br />All in all,
friendship, whether it is one or many, needs all the aforementioned components.
It needs love and time in particular to nurture it, to grow in a healthy
manner, and to deeply enrich not only you but the person that is receiving this
from you. Next time you sit for coffee with a friend pay close attention to
your interactions, your attention, and ask yourself if this person feels how
much you inject your life into theirs. The challenge could be to even ask what
kind of friend he believes you are. Request honesty and if they share, don’t be
offended if it is not what you would have liked to hear. Likewise, if it is
good, take that nugget and choose to enrich it, choose to be better at it, and
choose to love that friend even more. If you are already a great friend in all
areas, congratulations, you are in a group of people that is rare and tough to
get into. Be proud of this and be authentic with your friends. You’ll be glad
you did.<span style="font-size: 12pt;"><o:p></o:p></span><p></p>Carloshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15161603300997030981noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7908523645990545573.post-35372431751311450542021-06-28T15:17:00.000-05:002021-06-28T15:17:51.802-05:00Trust: Building The Bridge Of Giving & Receiving<p> </p><p class="MsoNormal">Trust…what a word! A word that I would define as believing
in someone that has honor, is courageous, respectful, and with much integrity.
And yet, it seems to be noticeably absent today. Maybe even becoming extinct
like the dinosaurs of a world long ago. Trust is, in my opinion, definitely absent
from our government, our schools, communities, and yes, even our own families
and social circles. There appears to be a tamping down of trust almost to the
point of losing it altogether…in our world, but mostly in ourselves. Trust
seems to be replaced by the suitable colors of personal likes and dislikes.
Forsaking trust for empty words, for the pleasure of us and what we desire
ourselves to be. But make no mistake about it, when we say something, but it never
seems to be fulfilled, it turns out like the old American Indian saying, “You
speak with forked tongue”. They had every reason to say this since they were
promised much but delivered so much less.<span> </span></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhcexDgYiyoKxk_YWesZJmAyQm5lImMGctXoV1BtNvcAbRTplD2wCvhGMt4jie8Ha8VsZfdU5i_DBdajrZErw61sGyUGNhSN0ciiPnyIAepLDgIfxeMHuyjGReMwUuYn3tqQ4MZ3U2EClo/s537/guys+shadows+at+dusk.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="392" data-original-width="537" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhcexDgYiyoKxk_YWesZJmAyQm5lImMGctXoV1BtNvcAbRTplD2wCvhGMt4jie8Ha8VsZfdU5i_DBdajrZErw61sGyUGNhSN0ciiPnyIAepLDgIfxeMHuyjGReMwUuYn3tqQ4MZ3U2EClo/s320/guys+shadows+at+dusk.jpg" width="320" /></a></div><br /><p></p><p class="MsoNormal"><o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">Let me ask this, “are we trustworthy?” Can someone say of
you and me, “you can’t trust him! He says some good words but when it comes
right down to it, he never comes through”? Do we see the flaw in this? Do we
see, and understand, how this opinion has been credited to us as a person? It’s
not good, it’s not healthy, and it’s certainly not who you or I desire to be.
Or…maybe it doesn’t matter, maybe as long as I think I’m okay and good, that
justifies it. Remember that a self-sustaining view point has the potential to
cover up the fault thereby providing a well-liked opinion of self so that one
is able to say, “ Oh well” or “it’s not me, it’s them” and never calling into
question the distinct possibility that we can be at fault. Or, at the very
least have a part in this. And even then, we can lead off with, “But….” And
this is where we let slide our mistake for a greater good. My greater good.<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">In all fairness though, I think there’s value in taking a
deep look at why we trust so readily and why sometimes we trust poorly. Most importantly,
what we can do about it. Trust has been a virtue that since young we have been
conditioned to seek from others. For example, we learn to feed from mom, to
look to parents for care and nurturing and to learn the value of trust in other
people. Even though parents never verbalized that we needed to trust them, we
did. It is part of the innate qualities of a baby, finely tuned as they grow
and mature. I guess one could say that it is a societal quality but at the same
time it is that same society that squelches it or perhaps blindly places the
distrust in its place. Trust in others is a daily occurrence for all of us and
we really don’t conscientiously pay attention that we are doing it. When we drive
on our public roads we trust others, when we order food, go to the doctor, and
so on and so on. However, we don’t wake up that day and think that before I go
out for a drive, I am going to psych myself so I can trust others. We just
don’t do that, we just jump in the car and go. Trust permeates our life in so
many ways yet, we rarely consider it until someone lets us down, when it’s
personal and hurtful.<o:p></o:p></p>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgn_ulxZH1I6rlE3UEmfL_f5gq4ABKlX-O85BWCJ-FsuGk3r0A0I1HUs79y89sL6tsNy0La7PKvD4NhaXcUTxz0_XVzWvOQLnGDxbHXZJ8W4Xtq3hOYS-3WjI2_A_1ZghcX13rIKQVuI_I/s2048/backlit-beach-couple-1378723.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="2048" data-original-width="1365" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgn_ulxZH1I6rlE3UEmfL_f5gq4ABKlX-O85BWCJ-FsuGk3r0A0I1HUs79y89sL6tsNy0La7PKvD4NhaXcUTxz0_XVzWvOQLnGDxbHXZJ8W4Xtq3hOYS-3WjI2_A_1ZghcX13rIKQVuI_I/s320/backlit-beach-couple-1378723.jpg" /></a></div><p class="MsoNormal">Well then, how do we amplify our ability to trust or to use
it to serve us better? Actually, there’s not a whole lot we can do about that except
to place it out in front knowing that we can trust and choose to trust but be
cognizant that it can be broken, and it can be painful. Why would anyone want
to do this intentionally? Here’s the deal, we can’t ever truly be certain of
another’s motivations, or their intentions. Because we don’t have this knowledge,
we are subject to whatever actions they may choose to do for us or to us. Simply
said, the best we can do is to choose between trusting someone or just settle
on not trusting anyone…ever. We may think we are protecting ourselves and
fending off any chance of being disappointed, but the bigger picture is that we
are missing out on the many blessings we may receive on all the love and benefits
we can receive from other people. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">All in all, the best thing we can do, in my opinion, is to
believe that the good in others outweighs the bad; look for that good instead
of focusing on the bad. Be willing to risk because all good things involve risk
in some form or fashion and when we get hurt, focus on a larger picture of what
may have happened instead of being self-focused and only see this in our way.
The author of 7 Habits of Highly Effective People, Stephen Covey, wrote, “seek
first to understand, then to be understood”. When we have a bigger perspective,
we may be able to understand better the reasons we get hurt, the reasons, not
the person. Understanding the actions or words of others can diminish our hurt
somewhat and what this may do is maintain a relationship because we learn to
see the personal value behind the hurt instead of placing an enormous fault on
the person. Either way we become winners in life and although hurt will come
many times in our lifetime, we can see right through it and retain the intimacy
of trust in someone else.<o:p></o:p></p>Carloshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15161603300997030981noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7908523645990545573.post-44678867031437286282021-05-22T21:46:00.000-05:002021-05-22T21:46:49.244-05:00Walk With Me<p> </p><p class="MsoNormal">When you see me smiling and it appears that all is great,
ask if it really is.<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">When you see me walking alone, ask if you can walk with me.<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">When you see me crying ask if you can cry with me.<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">Why do you have to visibly see me to ask a question?<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">What you cannot see is that I’m dying on the inside but not
on the outside.<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">What you cannot see is that I am moments away from the next
life.<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">Oh, but what if you could just really see me?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Unknown<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">My heart breaks when I hear someone’s story of crying out in
hurt and pain but never really saying anything to anyone. I wonder…why? Why
didn’t this person say something to someone that maybe could have helped. Why
didn’t they step up and say they are in need and at that very moment my spirit
quickens me asking why am I just blaming the person needing help? Why do I
place all responsibility on the one person so emotionally weak that they cannot
possibly know what to do? <o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgqEKP3y-Ix0GOna8ZV6IM6CbvBsKS9M06reUIw4xeNarwFkR4o64ODoIBCU3Hhd3AYlYBtNMf2yRoljx4fYfBT4G_b7_0z1s5XK0fc7qvqVlo2OJTHZoI-QF5pNlRAMBm7KGrCDIRs9iQ/s1920/Man+sitting+on+road.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1281" data-original-width="1920" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgqEKP3y-Ix0GOna8ZV6IM6CbvBsKS9M06reUIw4xeNarwFkR4o64ODoIBCU3Hhd3AYlYBtNMf2yRoljx4fYfBT4G_b7_0z1s5XK0fc7qvqVlo2OJTHZoI-QF5pNlRAMBm7KGrCDIRs9iQ/s320/Man+sitting+on+road.jpg" width="320" /></a></div><o:p> </o:p>I feel like a terrible person, like a person without a
conscience that looks the other way when coming across someone in need. I walk
through a range of emotions trying to fortify myself by remembering all the
good things I’ve done for people. All the good that perhaps I may have provided
to someone at some point. And I realize, I am trying to make myself not feel so
guilty about the person in the poem. I’m not to blame I say, they are. They
should have asked for help. Then I find myself at square one regardless of what
I think because I still cry for them. The fault is on them, well partly, so is
the fault on me? Also partly, but it’s not about who is to blame and who isn’t
but it is more about who I am inside and what I am made of. Its about my being
able to live out what I profess. To be authentic, to be intimate with my
friends and others that may cross my path. Be in their lives in good times and
in bad. Do not be a “fair weather” friend, as they say. I want myself and other
men to learn to see others when they don’t say anything, to see others when
their smile is so clearly a front. To know someone so well that we do ask the
questions in the poem asking often and sincerely is your life really ok? Are
you walking so alone right now because I want to join you, just so I can be so
close to you that maybe I hear your heart beat and recognize you’re dying on
the inside. I so want to be this kind of friend to my friends.<p></p><p class="MsoNormal"></p><p class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhLIcljpk-3frusylPKILeJjyYuTHe_2humv0vCnEXEvPdllcMTcKh4H5wCMXDT7RS_JgNRmGLJg-_07CrxLwsVXWIGxSA3VUFMsu3XmDAue3Ew2EoW01kVpXddHx6XcitRWcTnoQpYCms/s2048/two+guys+by+ocean.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1224" data-original-width="2048" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhLIcljpk-3frusylPKILeJjyYuTHe_2humv0vCnEXEvPdllcMTcKh4H5wCMXDT7RS_JgNRmGLJg-_07CrxLwsVXWIGxSA3VUFMsu3XmDAue3Ew2EoW01kVpXddHx6XcitRWcTnoQpYCms/s320/two+guys+by+ocean.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>The Apostle Paul tells us in Philippians 2:3 to think of
others as better than ourselves. Wow, is there anything so hard to do when all
that consumes us is us? Of course there isn’t. Let me clarify, I don’t mean
that we knowingly think about ourselves all day long. I don’t mean to say that
we are even aware or conscience about how selfish we are. After all, very few
people can say, “hey I know I’m selfish and I’m okay with that.” But in all
honesty, most all we do is planned out and designed to our personal
specifications. Made to order for us, so to speak. The clothes we wear, the
food we like, music and so on and so on. Life is all about us after all, isn’t
it? No, I’m not saying that we never think about others, we do. If we’re
husbands, we think about the wife, if a dad, we think about the kids. We do
plan on being a good spouse and dad, and provider, protector, care giver, and
on occasion, a coach. For our family we do this without giving it a second
thought because we know they matter. Through all the ups and downs, they always
matter. But if we slow down and take a peek at the “how” we perform all these
things for our family, we will see that all we do is still doing it the way we
want to do it, with as little inconvenience as possible, with no distractions
and certainly at times, we do all these things never really considering how
much of ourselves we put into it. <div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgLIXoLlsF2MM0lBZyxHXMq3hs7Q4uYrXzriyt9UwzZRgaz-riArHLnqRfYR7aAK2rcb9RYJiDCdKFXdixhMcSWG4ihyg0dROLygWnxTN659kDG7pNC3uByIoHtL3kG4dWyFV2WtbhavRU/s2048/whereslugo-lBVOaVl4yy8-unsplash.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="2048" data-original-width="1365" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgLIXoLlsF2MM0lBZyxHXMq3hs7Q4uYrXzriyt9UwzZRgaz-riArHLnqRfYR7aAK2rcb9RYJiDCdKFXdixhMcSWG4ihyg0dROLygWnxTN659kDG7pNC3uByIoHtL3kG4dWyFV2WtbhavRU/s320/whereslugo-lBVOaVl4yy8-unsplash.jpg" /></a></div><br /><p></p><p class="MsoNormal">Practically speaking, how do we do life
considering others as better than ourselves? We do it by seeing the other
person, regardless of who they are, by looking beyond their faults and seeing
their need. The real need. Not how we want to look at them, not how we want to
categorize them, and not even thinking about how they aren’t even in our lives,
except for that moment. It is about that moment though; it is about our giving
heart, our supposedly loving heart, whether we give willingly and unselfishly
or do we just move around them without feeling guilty. This is when our
selfishness comes out and we just move on without a single thought of guilt.
When what we have to do takes front and center stage. This is where the measure
of us becomes clear, so very clear, that we are so engulfed by our own self
that we lose the ability to feel for what the other person really needs. <o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p>Friendship may be defined in a few ways, but I believe the
most telling is when we can raise our friends, up with all their needs, to
support and provide for with all our heart. When we simply just do things for
them as we see fit or when we believe we can. I want friends to ask me how I’m
doing from the goodness of their heart. With well meaning intent that shows me
that it doesn’t matter how long I’ve known them, but they show up in my life,
good times and bad times, saying they’re my friend and most importantly,<b><i>
proving it</i></b>.</p><p class="MsoNormal"><o:p></o:p></p>Carloshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15161603300997030981noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7908523645990545573.post-17361842273400545192021-05-11T17:18:00.000-05:002021-05-11T17:18:11.180-05:00The Man in the Mirror<p> </p><p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-size: 21.3333px;"><b> </b></span><b><i><span style="font-size: 14pt; line-height: 107%;">“Most
men run away from the fight because they don’t want to answer the inevitable
question…Am I one of the weak ones or am I one of the strong?”...unknown</span></i></b></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 14pt; line-height: 107%;"><o:p> </o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="line-height: 107%;"><span>Growing up
in a small country town outside the Houston area I met many boys that would go
to school along with me. I learned early on that boys come in all shapes and
sizes. Not necessarily in physical appearance but in likes and dislikes, tough
as nails and some as strong as flower petals, but there was one thing that we
all knew inside…country boys never back down from a fight. It didn’t matter if
we were getting an outstanding butt whooping, you never gave in and you never
quit.<o:p></o:p></span></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="line-height: 107%;"><o:p><span> </span></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="line-height: 107%;"><span>In reading the
quote above, it reminded me about my growing up years and what I had learned
that would carry me through life. Fighting, come to find out, used to be a
normal part of a man’s development, expected I guess one could say, and it was
there to create or enrich inner strength. But since the days of my youth, this
expectation has been added to the list of reworking what masculinity looks like
in a young man.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It too has taken on
water and is quickly sinking. Men today are, as the quote states, “afraid to
discover if they are strong men or weak men.” They avoid many types of
conflict, not just in physical battle, but also intangible struggles, in areas
that are outside their comfort caves.</span></span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span><span style="line-height: 107%;"><span style="font-size: medium;"></span></span></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><span style="line-height: 107%;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgh9aNHVQwTpRhIsYABK0erHD7CUmbUhUsjewBqHWyqtZ37vN1MsHNG7f1V5Nq5E3vUITbRHYvmts9jaMrF2UeJ3AmU6WPdk8VXk1SEEYx6jQld1xzwXB8QBO0clMrLxL3pxj_6PiJUxbU/s2048/pexels-marius-venter-1659437.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1367" data-original-width="2048" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgh9aNHVQwTpRhIsYABK0erHD7CUmbUhUsjewBqHWyqtZ37vN1MsHNG7f1V5Nq5E3vUITbRHYvmts9jaMrF2UeJ3AmU6WPdk8VXk1SEEYx6jQld1xzwXB8QBO0clMrLxL3pxj_6PiJUxbU/s320/pexels-marius-venter-1659437.jpg" width="320" /></a></span></span></div><p></p><p class="MsoNormal">They have not learned what the Gambler
used to sing, “know when to hold them and know when to fold them”. They just go
through life ignoring that part of choice. This is not healthy to do as it
provides the path to do only what feels good and not what doesn’t feel good. Seems
like today the definition of internal strength of manhood, is being eroded by not
only culture, but what boys are being taught, how parents raise them, the
expectations set before them. It is definitely a good thing to know when to
pick our battles, so to speak, but when totally skirting around the decisions, it
just serves to damage confidence with their inner self. The thing inside that
develops a man by providing courage, humility, gentleness, wisdom, and yes, the
ever-evolving understanding of “who” I am and what my purpose in life is
supposed to be.</p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="line-height: 107%;"><o:p><span style="font-size: medium;"> </span></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="line-height: 107%;"><span>Ask any man who
he is and he will generally tell you what he does, ask him what is his greatest
skill and it will be something he does well, like sing, play an instrument, or
maybe his greatest asset is gaming. All things outside of him, things that
don’t relay any characteristic of what’s inside of him. For all intents and
purposes, men have become conditioned to this. Men don’t actually think about
this and decide intentionally that they will never choose something that doesn’t
feel good. It becomes an “instinct” response whenever they are faced with
situations presented to him. They don’t actually wake up one morning and decide
what kind of man they want to be that day but they do think about their wants
and desires, which really turns into looking for things that make him “feel”
good inside.</span></span> </p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><a name="_Hlk71638356"><span style="line-height: 107%;"><span></span></span></a></p><br /><span style="line-height: 107%;"><span><div><span style="line-height: 107%;"><span><br /></span></span></div>This mindset has come about from many years of a “developing”
world. We have all played a part in this, whether it is directly or
indirectly, but we do share the load. Whether it was family oriented, politics,
schools, or peer pressure, it doesn’t really matter. What matters is that we
are here now and we need to turn the tide in the places we can, so our own
family and friends don’t lose out. If you feel you are not one of those that I
am referring to, great! Now go out and teach a younger man how to be one.
If you feel like you are one of those that missed out on manly instruction, ask
someone you know who is a good example and follow their teaching. You may have
gotten here via many reasons, but don't stay here. Character does not have
an expiration date nor does it require any special training. The only<br />
prerequisite is the desire to be more than you are. To be a real man, so that
when you look in the mirror, you like who you see and this man "man in the mirror" makes you smile.</span></span><div><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh-Oe_qNEDEGNk6cQ8Ht5hB7az7ua3ze0xF3hMGPQfg7O6L8AUluyRdyQixzRy4wZfp-WliGRF4mEyjAALvOgDStzf8TuIODRTnK9uZMK822edapXWnD6V2Q9l4mi3efu1rWQcE5QyzmQU/s2048/guys+smiling+in+mirror.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em; text-align: right;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1168" data-original-width="2048" height="183" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh-Oe_qNEDEGNk6cQ8Ht5hB7az7ua3ze0xF3hMGPQfg7O6L8AUluyRdyQixzRy4wZfp-WliGRF4mEyjAALvOgDStzf8TuIODRTnK9uZMK822edapXWnD6V2Q9l4mi3efu1rWQcE5QyzmQU/w320-h183/guys+smiling+in+mirror.jpg" width="320" /></a><span style="line-height: 107%;"><i style="font-size: 14pt;"></i></span><i><span style="font-size: 14pt; line-height: 107%;"><o:p></o:p></span></i><p></p></div>Carloshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15161603300997030981noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7908523645990545573.post-47834142432196312602021-04-25T12:00:00.001-05:002021-04-25T12:00:51.272-05:00<p> </p><p align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;"><b><span style="font-size: 24pt; line-height: 107%;">That Masked Man<o:p></o:p></span></b></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 12pt; line-height: 107%;">As
my mentee group of young men finished up the other night and after they had all left, I sat
alone on the patio just contemplating the evening’s discussions and singular
topics of conversation. As I thought about the laughter and playful jokes cast
upon each other, I realized something. There are times when the guys speak a
lot and then there are times when even though they don’t speak a lot, what they
do say is full of information. Many camouflaged hints, and innuendos that if I
didn’t believe and practice in listening to what wasn’t said, I feel I would have
missed so much insight into their emotional and spiritual wellbeing.</span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><br /><span style="font-size: 12pt; line-height: 107%;"></span></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEih7D1ewITP9l2ENqvPi1-HRBPToPo2ltgZSQrOWgbjP9bnSOEf386GuouY6AtgsnkAnNBNqL55WGQwJ55b-XK0Qkuh1I4v197YskJOTrkN9NBK7X3rvzWD5GwEaMbaBpfyeQ-aUErRJ6A/s2048/two+men+talking.jpg" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1303" data-original-width="2048" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEih7D1ewITP9l2ENqvPi1-HRBPToPo2ltgZSQrOWgbjP9bnSOEf386GuouY6AtgsnkAnNBNqL55WGQwJ55b-XK0Qkuh1I4v197YskJOTrkN9NBK7X3rvzWD5GwEaMbaBpfyeQ-aUErRJ6A/s320/two+men+talking.jpg" width="320" /></a></div><br />Words
matter and it is critically important when speaking with men to listen to and
read between the lines. As personal stories go, without someone listening to
them, their story would just move on without anyone giving it a second thought to
hear the words which may indicate the “why” they were said to begin with. It
would have been my missed opportunity to speak life into them during my time
together or the one on one coffees with them. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p><p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 12pt; line-height: 107%;">Life can be
so crazy for all of us but for these young inexperienced men, everyday life can
become overwhelming and could be tempted to just not bother with it because there may
be hurt or pain, which are contributors to a feeling of hopelessness and worse,
loneliness. This is never healthy for anyone. </span></p><p class="MsoNormal"></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjz7OGile2s5wo8z2v4Ynod84Obz0Xn5UsO2QZ_UG9KCOMaM26-zUz_ZYdd9Q2QTZMwtHBU4VLmDWeoUhR5D8jV8wJ9iTpQqgK6XwpMmZXnwh4MnZECshVSCjGJcYOQBF7ps_C9fRQUZe8/s2048/olhar-angolano-95fbuDeudRg-unsplash.jpg" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1365" data-original-width="2048" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjz7OGile2s5wo8z2v4Ynod84Obz0Xn5UsO2QZ_UG9KCOMaM26-zUz_ZYdd9Q2QTZMwtHBU4VLmDWeoUhR5D8jV8wJ9iTpQqgK6XwpMmZXnwh4MnZECshVSCjGJcYOQBF7ps_C9fRQUZe8/s320/olhar-angolano-95fbuDeudRg-unsplash.jpg" width="320" /></a></div><p></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 12pt;">Going back to the evening of my
guys group, we spoke to a lot of things and there were a few things that we
discussed that shall remain “secret” due to it’s very personal nature, but what
I can say is that men need to talk…about many things, all things. Most days guys wear a mask that they hide behind to cover many things and in order for them to step out from behind the mask, there's a few things that have to line up. They need a place
where there is safety, where there is no criticism or judgement. A place where
they can just be themselves, messed up, quirky, but always safe. A place where they know
there is no one better or worse than them. Where they are equal and close
enough to speak out loud about anything and everything. These are the
moments when the windows of heaven open and we imagine Jesus saying, “YES!!!
This is why I called you here, and here you will learn about an intimate
relationship with Me first, and then an intimate relationship with others just
like you. Men that do life and share life together to support each other, to
hold up each others arms, and to point each other back to Me your source for
life.” This impacts me to the core as I was, and am, so proud of these guys for
their vulnerable sharing, for their trust, and the very evidence of love in
action for each other. </span></p><p class="MsoNormal"></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjLSOKvia26KHjSyJ1tssOSchPXG_JDJYlYOhxLBgNtEEvXtjKd9lD37-kaIVtYkhQuGK1WNwNKJXAc1QMCuAuora2uVS74cfVDW-oY5QbcJQ1Z2MgADDr8WuexsEBklDYnK-gg7CR4Ymg/s2048/photo+by+matheus-ferrero.jpg" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1365" data-original-width="2048" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjLSOKvia26KHjSyJ1tssOSchPXG_JDJYlYOhxLBgNtEEvXtjKd9lD37-kaIVtYkhQuGK1WNwNKJXAc1QMCuAuora2uVS74cfVDW-oY5QbcJQ1Z2MgADDr8WuexsEBklDYnK-gg7CR4Ymg/s320/photo+by+matheus-ferrero.jpg" width="320" /></a></div><p></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 12pt;">I’ve been a part of other men’s groups before and I have
to brag about this group always, that they embody an intimate relationship with another
man, AND, they hold nothing back between them. I have been working with these
guys for over two years, starting with one who then invited a second, who invited a third,
and the third invited a fourth. It took some time and I can’t say it has been
an easy journey but man is it worth it. I can’t believe I am witness to what
God can do with anyone that is willing to learn. Anyone who is willing to say
enough is enough and take the hard steps to move into a higher level of
emotional and spiritual health. These young men do not have an easy life but
right now they have an abundant life. The one that God promised to those who want it.</span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 12pt; line-height: 107%;">For the men
that are in fellowship with other men or just one, enjoy, enrich it to it’s
maximum capacity. Envision more than just having fun together and chatting.
Create within an intentionality to<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>pull
each other up and encourage one another knowing that at any time life will hit
you square in the face and you’ll fall flat. Friends are good to have, but an
intimate friend, one that sees you honestly and truthfully, are rare and more
valuable than any amount of money or gold. All our backs are exposed at
any time and knowing someone has guard over you, is like Jesus with skin
on as they say "having your six." Nothing better in this world, no one better to
do life with. Get here and I promise…you will love every moment of every day
knowing you have this kind of friend, and even more when you have a few.<o:p></o:p></span></p>Carloshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15161603300997030981noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7908523645990545573.post-29876483932209270622021-04-07T15:51:00.000-05:002021-04-07T15:51:47.173-05:00<p> </p><p class="MsoNormal"><b><span style="font-size: 14pt; line-height: 107%;">Our Life
In Pieces<o:p></o:p></span></b></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">I’ve spoken to this topic before but I came across something
that made me want to remind you of who you are. I came across an article this
morning and it caught my attention because it is about an area of life that I
have deep interest in. So, I would like to start with this quote from the book
by Jack Myers, The Future of Men. He states, “Donald Trump and Bernie Sanders
are tapping into what I’m calling a “Lean Out” generation of young, discouraged
and angry men—men who are feeling abandoned by the thousands of years of
history that defined what it meant to be a real man: to be strong; to be a
provider; to be in authority; to be the ultimate decision maker; and to be
economically, educationally, physically and politically dominant…”. In my efforts
of working with men, it dawned on me some years ago that this is relatively
true. Within the young men I speak to that come for advice or ask about meeting
for coffee, the one trending facet of a conversation is that “their world isn’t
defined very well.” There’s a lack of something solid, something clear and not
always so opaque. Although it’s different faces, the question still seems the
same, “why is it that so many things make no sense to me? Considering that
there isn’t one template God uses to make men, it isn’t an easy question to
tackle, much less try to define it all the while hoping it makes sense to my
audience of one. This is the make up of today’s young adults, yet another
uptick into their ever-fluctuating internal bubble that needs balancing and
steadiness in order to correctly identify what is level. Do you see this too,
or, perhaps you are one of the men I’m speaking about? How do you, personally, feel
about this quote as it pertains to you? Does it reflect how you feel? Even a
little bit or perhaps a lot of bit?<o:p></o:p></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhMbdMuN_breudEy-OqvhouHcWgELGO0SRxgeYvSTlS7VIJzTZCbbQ67mqfh-E5U2ifs0PG_BhamRkHa2ikm_TVVgYB2xEIqH4VHg2a2aIrSRHkr0cQl5kICbVa2WkJA8kQV_hAnasQNHs/s2048/Who+am+i+by+felicia-buitenwerf.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1365" data-original-width="2048" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhMbdMuN_breudEy-OqvhouHcWgELGO0SRxgeYvSTlS7VIJzTZCbbQ67mqfh-E5U2ifs0PG_BhamRkHa2ikm_TVVgYB2xEIqH4VHg2a2aIrSRHkr0cQl5kICbVa2WkJA8kQV_hAnasQNHs/s320/Who+am+i+by+felicia-buitenwerf.jpg" width="320" /></a></div><p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: right;"><br /></p><p class="MsoNormal">Let me ask you this, “what do YOU see when you look in a
mirror”? Honestly…do you see a person that you like, admire, or maybe are even
proud of? Are you confident in you and your abilities? If someone asked you,
“what do you do” would you be excited to share what you do or would you be
hesitant about your career or where you work? These are all <v:shapetype coordsize="21600,21600" filled="f" id="_x0000_t75" o:preferrelative="t" o:spt="75" path="m@4@5l@4@11@9@11@9@5xe" stroked="f">
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</w:wrap></v:imagedata></v:shape>questions that millions of men face daily. The truth is that aside
from what you believe about yourself, none of these questions really matter
because what matters is foundationally determined by you and your Designer.
Your likes, dislikes, and quirkiness creep into all of life’s smallest and
biggest decisions. Things such as foods, drinks, social friends, or even no
friends at all. You are the only one that from a very young age began, to
develop all of your acquired traits. All of your behaviors, the way you speak,
the words you use…all of this was learned by you. All these things are learned
specific to you and you alone. The good Lord designed you uniquely gifted, to <a name="_Hlk68182256">just be you, only you, and no one else</a>. So why try to
be someone you were never meant to be? <o:p></o:p></p><p class="MsoNormal"></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="color: black; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-themecolor: text1;"></span></p><p align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;"><b><span style="color: #c00000; font-family: "Bradley Hand ITC"; font-size: 22.0pt; line-height: 107%;">Just be you, only you, and no one else<o:p></o:p></span></b></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="color: black; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-themecolor: text1;"><br /></span></p><p class="MsoNormal">You may feel like you didn’t get
the proper instruction that all males need so that you can develop a healthy
mindset and a more robust character. I will not diminish the fact that you may
not have had someone since a young age to teach you but I can say this, “you
may have made some terrible choices in life. You may have had an unimaginable
childhood, but in many ways, most every other guy you see on the street, in
church, or just at any public gathering, each has a story.” Fact of the matter
is that their story is a personal song that means much to them. Each song may
be sad, it may be happy, and it may even be a mix of both. I’m here to tell
you…it doesn’t matter as much as <b><i><u>you</u></i></b> matter! You matter!
Yes, your story is yours to tell or not, but as I listen to the ones that are
shared with me, I see more there than just a story of someone’s life history. I
have the benefit of an outsider looking in with no bias, knowledge, or
heartstrings to these brothers’ past and I proudly can say that what I see are
men that have the potential and the possibility of a warrior man, a man that
did not let the negative in life destroy him. A giant of a man whose heart is
as big as the Goliath he has slain over and over in life. I speak to these men
day in and day out, and although they lacked something in their formidable
years, today they reach out for help, for advice, sometimes just to ask if you
wanna hang out for coffee or a movie. A bad upbringing didn’t put shackles on
these boys. They don’t do life alone and isolated because if they’ve learned
one thing it’s that when one isolates, he opens the door to the ghosts of his
past to come in and that is the last thing he desires to revisit.</p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="color: black; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-themecolor: text1;"><o:p> </o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="color: black; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-themecolor: text1;">Look, in life you will face many
moods and emotions. You will have good days and bad days and maybe some days
that you really don’t want to get out of bed, but this is where you made the
decision long ago that your day was not going to be identified by the sum total
of all your good and bad. This decision can dictate the rest of your day. These
are the decisions you make every day, but today you make them from a different
mindset than from the mindset of years ago. God didn’t make you to be a wimp in
life, to fear what’s around the next corner, but instead He gifted you with His
best for just you and because of this, you can face any day, any issue, any
person, anywhere, because even though your life may seem like it’s in pieces some days, the biggest and best piece is <i>YOU</i> and guess what? YOU MATTER!!!<b><o:p></o:p></b></span></p><br /><p></p>Carloshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15161603300997030981noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7908523645990545573.post-67407231442593636412021-03-20T18:04:00.000-05:002021-03-20T18:04:56.521-05:00<p> </p><p></p><p class="MsoNormal"><b><span style="font-size: 16pt; line-height: 107%;">The Hiccuperuptions<o:p></o:p></span></b></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">Guys, have you heard of or has someone ever asked you if
you’ve had the <b>“hiccuperuptions”</b> lately?? <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>If so, what or how do you normally respond? Is
it the old stand there motionless with question marks appearing in your cornea?
Or do you actually say something? Regardless of your reaction, eventually you
ask that question that sums everything up, ”the what?? What the heck is that??”
Here’s where you receive the answer but almost immediately you think,
“seriously? You disturbed my valuable time only to give me this silly answer?
What a waste of my time”. But afterwhile, and although you thought the answer
was silly, there was something about the explanation that later got you to
thinking about it and maybe even got you to realize a little more about
yourself. Something you really hadn’t noticed or ever thought about since it’s
never been on your radar. Maybe it even made you curious enough to wonder if
its’s only something you do, or do other guys do the same thing? I can tell you
this…everyone does it. Not just you, but everyone else. So moving forward let’s
share what the “hiccuperuptions”<b> </b>are and provide some new found wisdom and knowledge of them and how to avoid them.<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><b><i><span style="color: #2e74b5; font-size: 16pt; line-height: 107%; mso-themecolor: accent5; mso-themeshade: 191;">What the heck is
that???<span> </span><span> </span></span></i></b></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><b><i><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEifpL6T01pHygGf6ExIGWXOZ1BtCYqSF8GXJdu2VIGl5I6_lRMSDBFbB_G6Us1uCKuReL9jwc400FkJsev4EgTMoyuwRP1eaiANKKmE8pPNbixshOfuIA3x6YLEF9ys1hzYc-Gz6Z8i4FE/s2048/kyle-glenn-uFjORuZQczQ-unsplash.jpg" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="2048" data-original-width="2048" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEifpL6T01pHygGf6ExIGWXOZ1BtCYqSF8GXJdu2VIGl5I6_lRMSDBFbB_G6Us1uCKuReL9jwc400FkJsev4EgTMoyuwRP1eaiANKKmE8pPNbixshOfuIA3x6YLEF9ys1hzYc-Gz6Z8i4FE/s320/kyle-glenn-uFjORuZQczQ-unsplash.jpg" /></a></i></b></div><p class="MsoNormal"><br /></p><p class="MsoNormal">Hiccups are those little semi-burps, unwanted and never
timely body functions that interrupt you usually when it’s not convenient. For
example, while making a presentation at work, while enjoying a cool drink and
BBQ in your back yard while entertaining guests, and yes, even when you try to
sneak in a smooch to your wife or girlfriend and they stop you dead in your
tracks. Annoying little buggers aren’t they? A bright side is that they usually
don’t last very long but are none the less, an interruption of an enjoyable
moment.</p><p class="MsoNormal"><o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><b><i><span style="color: #2e74b5; font-size: 16pt; line-height: 107%; mso-themecolor: accent5; mso-themeshade: 191;">And speaking about
interruptions…<o:p></o:p></span></i></b></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></p><p class="MsoNormal">Let me drop this
right here that is due appropriate consideration and sometimes is misplaced in
your day. What if you were to take the perspective that is certainly a more
meaningful experience during those “inconvenient interruptions” we all
experience in life. But first, understand that most guys such as yourself have
a one-track male mind. Many simply focus on one thing at a time, one errand or
task at a time, and, often focus on the wrong thing! Here’s the deal, while you
are very good at anything you truly focus on, the issue is that when you do
focus or zero in on something, you unintentionally turn off the rest of the
world. Why do I mention this? Well to be honest, so you understand that
sometimes it is exactly at this point when we exclude the most important, most
important people in our lives. Although unintentional, when they interrupt us, would
you honestly say it really is an interruption? Are they sometimes so
unimportant that our actions provide evidence to make them believe that what
you are doing is more important and you cannot, absolutely cannot be <i>interrupted?
</i>That being said, perhaps they walk away feeling less important than the
task you have at hand? I don’t know about you, but I’ve been made to feel that
way by someone so important in my life, and it didn’t feel good at all. That
can be really messed up and if not addressed and corrected, can cause some deep
wounds. So as best as you can, don’t go there with your spouse, your children,
and all those other people you love. <o:p></o:p></p>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjk-kloN8gOttnh63sCw4joeCEYrEQ5xYAQDwBOo8J7-tv5DkA3VPEFfDzlT8Ww9pthUEF-5OkqDec9JNhuIhWoaDgTciAVnzWzzV6ij3d9d2IjC_1MuPQBqBPlQZmE18XpiCwx6m0CItE/s2048/Girl+frustrated+at+laptop+by+JESHOOTS.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1365" data-original-width="2048" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjk-kloN8gOttnh63sCw4joeCEYrEQ5xYAQDwBOo8J7-tv5DkA3VPEFfDzlT8Ww9pthUEF-5OkqDec9JNhuIhWoaDgTciAVnzWzzV6ij3d9d2IjC_1MuPQBqBPlQZmE18XpiCwx6m0CItE/s320/Girl+frustrated+at+laptop+by+JESHOOTS.jpg" width="320" /></a></div><p class="MsoNormal">Now you may ask, “how does all this help me understand the “hiccuperruptions”?”
Well the way I like to explain it is that when family members or friends
interrupt us, it can be very similar to hiccups. They come upon us at the most
inopportune times, no notice no preparation, and then we are internally
bothered because the hiccups have now caused agitation and an interruption, we
were not ready for. And like kids, sometimes they are not easily dismissed or
disregarded. They press the do not disturb button when you least expect it and
all they wanted was a little attention and perhaps, if you’re blessed, a really
tight hug that assures them everything is fine. I personally have missed many
of those times because I felt I couldn’t be disturbed and probably shooed them
away. Boy I so wish I hadn’t missed those moments because now it seems like I
want more but have to settle for those infrequent ones. However, I do take
advantage of my grandkid’s attention and hugs often because I am sure to stop <i>when
I can</i>, and give them my complete focus. I realize that there will always be
some times when you really can’t stop what you’re doing, but during those times
express lovingly that you will get to them as soon as you can and avoid
dismissing them. Attempt to make them feel loved.</p><p class="MsoNormal"><o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">There’s a Biblical story that I love to relate to when it
comes to being interrupted and perhaps you’ve heard it on occasion. It’s the
story of when Jesus was walking down the town streets and many were following
Him, bumping, brushing onto Him and perhaps even being pushed into Him. All of
a sudden Jesus stops and asks a question, “who touched me” He asked?? Keep in mind
what I previously mentioned that He was amongst throngs of people with no way
of someone not touching Him. There were people all around, they were all
yelling at Him trying to get His attention, even His disciples answered Him
saying, “why do you ask who touched me? Did You notice all the people and know
that there is no way You can walk close to them without being touched?” There
was definitely so much noise and distractions vying for Jesus’ attention, but
He was so focused on the importance of each of them. In the midst of the world’s
noise, He noticed one particular touch. Jesus sensed this one small touch, this
one seemingly insignificant gesture, and He knew that this touch was made in
true faith…it was the woman that needed healing from a disease she had for a
while but she knew that if she could just touch the hem of His garment she
would be healed. Jesus calls her effort true faith.<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><b><i><span style="color: #0070c0; font-size: 18pt; line-height: 107%;">Jesus said, “Daughter, your faith has healed you.” <o:p></o:p></span></i></b></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">I love that story but what I really would like to impress on
you isn’t so much the story as it is the point that Jesus stopped to pay
attention to this woman. With all the voices and noise calling for His
attention, He actually stopped to pay attention to the needs of this lady. This
just strengthens my thoughts that when our loved ones call for us we should
stop to listen to them and their needs when we can. There are no more important
people in your life than your family and friends and of course they all have
need of your wisdom and guidance in varying degrees. There is no more value
than the one you place on someone when you stop what you are in the middle of, turn,
listen, and provide your undivided attention. Reminds me of a saying I read
somewhere that stated, <b><i>“people may not remember all you said, but they
will always remember how you made them feel.” </i></b>Poignant huh?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Yea, got me to reconsider how I respond when
someone interrupts me. As mentioned, there will be times when you just can’t
stop what you are doing, but try to make that the exception not the norm. So if
you have chronic “hiccuperruptions” from normal hiccups and also the people
around you, I would encourage you, and ask that if you are not doing it, to stop
for a moment and consider the scenario of this hiccup…who is it, how important
are they, and what may be the result if I do not pay attention? I can guarantee
that if you are and have been doing it, you will make a lot of people feel
special and it will go a long way in making you feel special yourself.<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></p><br /><p></p>Carloshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15161603300997030981noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7908523645990545573.post-5981511971313969092021-03-02T11:49:00.000-06:002021-03-02T11:49:11.862-06:00In My Backyard<p> <br /></p><p class="MsoNormal"></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br /></div>The other day as I was waiting for the release of classes, I
observed several young boys playing together on the playground. Sitting there,
my mind was teleported back to a place in time that I remember the neighborhood
kids playing together in my back yard.<div><br /> photo by Joao Rafael<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjj1IGxchJO6kNIqxRY1SB16X9F8pgRXO6BbQ3qg_jIywGzkIMSR9OIydUZxmfni2xP7BSU2FbWZE6IpKOmxW-ij7YaFXTVKD4mrnoG3i7ykjNU8p8oL-UM85M2C41z0FEkSdq1VMMjLvQ/s2048/kids+together.jpg" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1362" data-original-width="2048" height="133" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjj1IGxchJO6kNIqxRY1SB16X9F8pgRXO6BbQ3qg_jIywGzkIMSR9OIydUZxmfni2xP7BSU2FbWZE6IpKOmxW-ij7YaFXTVKD4mrnoG3i7ykjNU8p8oL-UM85M2C41z0FEkSdq1VMMjLvQ/w200-h133/kids+together.jpg" width="200" /></a></div>I was raised in a certain part of the
city, closest to the river and therefore our back yard was not exactly flat,
grassy, and without thorns. Regardless of what small obstacles we faced, we
always found a way to make things fun and enjoyable. We would pretend my back
yard was a fortress and castle we had to defend against the bad guys. It was an
army war zone where children would find the perfect shaped stick to become our
Luger pistol or machine gun with which to annihilate the enemy. There were
about 12 kids playing and so we had a come up with two teams to portray the bad
guys and the good guys, then after a while, we would switch sides. It was no
big deal to disagree as to which side one would play or who died with the make-believe
bullets because when someone told you, “bang you’re dead”, you knew you were
down until the next match started. All fun with no seriousness but a lot
of laughter, and no one ever verbalized that it was a silly game that was not
real. It was real as could be for a moment in time, as we transformed into a
certain well-liked character.</div><div><br /></div><div><i><b><span style="color: #0b5394; font-size: large;">Moms knew when it was time to come home!</span></b></i><br /><o:p></o:p><p></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">Then like most parents did back then, we would hear
someone’s mom call out loud that it was time to come wash up as it was getting
close to dinner time and the oh so dreaded bath time. Well maybe it just
applied to me because my bath would be to do a quick one under the outdoor
water hose with a bar of soap that was perpetually there to use, and when
finished I would let my mom know to bring me some dry clothes. She was very
close by as the kitchen was right inside the door I would enter through. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Immediately, I would smell the aroma of fresh
corn bread, beans, and tortillas. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>All
fresh and all from scratch. We didn’t have enough money to buy food in cans or packages,
but it was all delicious. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Since all of
us were poor, no one knew much about alternative choices. We didn’t know any difference,
so we didn’t feel like we lost anything.</div><p class="MsoNormal"><o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">In today’s world, kids playing has changed from mostly
outdoors to mostly indoors. From learning about bugs and spiders, to learning
about apps and online entertainment. From active soldiers to inactive “couch
potatoes” in a world that seems to have lost a sense of life and all that the
outdoors has to offer. Not saying that learning electronics is bad, it just
seems to me that the rough and tough has been taken out of games for boys and
the damsel in distress is now actually not in distress any longer but is more
so uncharacterized. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Gender identity has
been lost and a neutral perspective of one other gained. Talking, laughing out
loud, and tackling the enemy has been replaced by inanimate keystrokes. This
isn’t teaching, engaging and enjoying the company of others. This is replacing
people with machines. Things that cannot love back, will never prepare us or
touch us, or cry with us or around us. They don’t step on prickly burrs and ask
for help to take the stickers out; there is no gratitude nor the sharing of a
rarely acquired candy bar. Only a button push to turn it on or turn it off. </p><p class="MsoNormal">This isn’t kids living out their imaginations, nor is it emotionally healthy.
In fact, maybe it’s no life at all. Our young men seem to have shelved their honor, their word,
and all the things that forge character so that now they have no idea what being
a man is supposed to be like. In all fairness though, it’s not like one day
they knew these things and woke up one morning and decided “I am going to shed
my honor and what my word means.” In fact, in my time, boys spoke truth, not as
compared to a lie, but to verbalize something they liked or not, what came
out of our mouths was pretty black and white. I mean we weren’t like angels or
demons, and I’m not saying we didn’t ever lie but when put in a child’s
world, it was a little white fib. The point being that this generation of young men are only living out what they know and were taught No more and no less. Keep in mind that
this is the world they operate out of.</p><p class="MsoNormal"><o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">Like I said, electronics are good and helpful when needed
and we all should learn how to take advantage of them. What I would encourage
in addition to, is the use of a back yard, the local empty lot, or even a local
playground. Let kids play in their own version of their heroes, their knights,
and yes if they want to be clowns, then let them. I miss my back yard; I mean
really miss it. Not for the rough and shoddy ground it was but for the things I
learned instinctively: there were no
black kids, no white kids, and certainly no Hispanic kids because I learned we
all laughed the same, liked the same things, and we did not see any difference
in our skin color.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>When we split up into
teams, we were only separated by the shirts from the skins. No color, no
preferences, no exclusions…just kids playing together in my back yard.<o:p></o:p></p></div>Carloshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15161603300997030981noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7908523645990545573.post-73423415701243829362021-02-18T14:44:00.000-06:002021-02-18T14:44:44.945-06:00The BIG Chill<p> </p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh1amCzwTpeR5XZAqjEF9eWxqmRLoErahGQisdpNpyUtEMitaUy-XtbEmmH7H5ikG6O7SL_aIzunPgt3MsHpODupC0hmDoOvfBgmvsDmDClZOWYWmsxdxu1fG7Vkt-hHVYEijOsIzaqIgA/s2048/nick-linnen+guy+on+frozen+lake.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="2048" data-original-width="1639" height="345" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh1amCzwTpeR5XZAqjEF9eWxqmRLoErahGQisdpNpyUtEMitaUy-XtbEmmH7H5ikG6O7SL_aIzunPgt3MsHpODupC0hmDoOvfBgmvsDmDClZOWYWmsxdxu1fG7Vkt-hHVYEijOsIzaqIgA/w452-h345/nick-linnen+guy+on+frozen+lake.jpg" width="452" /></a></div><br /><p></p><p>Brrrr…Texans in my area have never experience cold weather like this before and it seems that we are all in a panic!! The forecast for Monday is 5 degrees and personally, in all my years I’ve never experienced this kind of cold before even when we vacationed in Colorado. Yes, I know I sound like I’m complaining and whining…well I suppose that I am, so sad too bad.</p><p>The thought hit me though as I look around and speak to a few friends, the public in general, does not know what to do or how to prepare for these abnormal temperatures. The media is providing some advice on preparations for ourselves, our homes, our pets and pipes which is all very important. However, the real question I have is why do we wait for right before the freeze blankets us to actually act on a plan of how we are going to combat and avoid being one of its victims? </p><p>As I engage my devotion this morning, I got a mental picture of how I personally, and others I know, somehow wait until we are right dead set, right at the onset of a storm before we look up and say, “oh wow, I need to make sure I do everything needed to protect those I love”. It seems to me that when it comes to this, we are a people who procrastinate! </p><p><span> </span><span> </span>We put off many of the “what ifs” in life, for example: </p><p><span> </span><span> W</span>e don’t add gasoline until it feels like we’re running on fumes</p><p><span> </span><span> W</span>e certainly don’t display or verbalize our deepest appreciation for the special people in our lives <span> </span><span> </span><span> </span>until it’s almost too late or worse </p><p><span> </span><span> W</span>e don’t consider the cons as much as we do the pros of life in many areas. </p><p> <b> </b><b>Face it, we procrastinate! </b></p><p>Now, to get back to my mental picture…as believers in Christ, don’t we do the same thing in our spiritual life when it comes to attacks from all sides? Don’t we roll right along with life, enjoying the conveniences and comforts it provides, all the while knowing, but not acting on or preparing for the times when we do have those attacks? When it feels like this winter freeze is more than we can bear or withstand the different levels of cold. When it seems like our soul is so cold and frozen to the urgings of the Spirit to look out and we become insensitive to many things around us. This is us! The Word tells us in many places to not only prepare for battle, but also to expect it. If we expect the hard times to come then we have an opportunity to gird up with the necessary resources, tools, and armor to defend against what comes upon us. Here’s the deal, we are told to expect, we are admonished to prepare, we have all the warnings that need to be given to recognize a battle is coming. Some will be large and seemingly overpowering, some will be just enough to annoy and distract us, but there is no reason we should be unprepared for it because we have been told and we should always be ready.</p><p>Is it any wonder our spiritual lives are so shaky and unsteady? Any wonder why our emotional state seems to be on a roller coaster most days? Up one day and down the next. Then, to make it all worse, we look to blame someone else for our ineptitudes. We want to justify our shortcomings by believing it was someone else or something else that caused me to be unsuspecting. We really do have a built-in shortcut to the garden don’t we (the blame game)? Look, it’s not a matter of what we haven’t done or haven’t said, and it’s not even a matter of being coerced, but it is our decision and our decision alone. No one can make us prepare. Just like no one can force anything upon us if we don’t want what they have to offer. This can only happen if we provide the opportunity and allow it. Yup, agree with me or not, the condition we are in internally is made up of all the choices we have made or are making. Obviously, there are a few exceptions where we did not have a choice and praise God maybe we are healing from those, but for the most part, today we have the choice to prepare ourselves and our loved ones for the battles to come. Maybe some of us have made really bad choices in life, but know this, God loves us at this very moment just the way we are, exactly where we are, and in the condition that we are. No ifs, ands, or buts…how about this. </p><p>Why don’t we all decide that today will be the first day that will change our lives for the better. That this day going forward we will prepare according to how God wants us to prepare and be ready for whatever comes our way. </p><p>Not the easiest thing to do.</p><p><span> </span><span> </span>Not the prettiest thing to do. </p><p><span> </span><span> </span><span> </span><span> </span>And certainly not the popular thing to do. </p><p><span> </span><span> </span><span> </span><span> </span><span> </span><span> </span>But after all, this IS our own LIFE so make it mean something!</p><div><br /></div>Carloshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15161603300997030981noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7908523645990545573.post-74049652898725464092021-02-01T16:54:00.000-06:002021-02-01T16:54:52.339-06:00In search of Bigfoot<p> </p><p class="MsoNormal">I caught the tail end of a documentary about Sasquatch, or
more commonly known as Bigfoot and how so many people have seen it, but to this
day remains elusive and unfounded. </p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgPPEXjMKNRIfE8yBYFygTSbFQVa5cwn3kuIWh2Az27wQOfFC2qPZsRbGramdtLhBHWbqrMqYh2a7phvi2Gcin7Nh8YAqcffmF39M5idQkUilgrqYpp85xNsoPlklSFfAvllD-qEzZw7dE/s2048/big+foot+shadow+in+woods.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="2048" data-original-width="1365" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgPPEXjMKNRIfE8yBYFygTSbFQVa5cwn3kuIWh2Az27wQOfFC2qPZsRbGramdtLhBHWbqrMqYh2a7phvi2Gcin7Nh8YAqcffmF39M5idQkUilgrqYpp85xNsoPlklSFfAvllD-qEzZw7dE/s320/big+foot+shadow+in+woods.jpg" /></a></div><p class="MsoNormal">I do not know if you believe or even have an
opinion about the big guy but, what comes to mind when you hear anything about
the myth of Bigfoot? Do you envision a hairy creature, 10 ft tall, and bigger
than any creature that walks on two legs, or perhaps a vision of mystique and
something wild? What if we could be like Bigfoot, in that we could hide out in
the wild, in a place so hard to track down that we would be alone for a bit?
Sound intriguing? I know that sometimes we want to get so disconnected from life,
and we don’t want anyone to talk to us or locate us. A wish so powerful that we
just want to be left alone to do whatever we want to do, need to do, to put
together some strategy to sort life out.</p><p class="MsoNormal"><o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">That place truly is a desire for many men, and I believe most
men desire to have the ability to become hidden, wild, and retreat to a very
private place. Would it surprise you to know that that place does exist? In
every man this mental but very secluded place does exist. We have a very
distinct, but very real man cave within where we can go hang out. For a moment
we too can be like Sasquatch, even if it means withdrawing within ourselves, we
can choose to be lost in the wild, being alone and where no other human voice
can be heard. All we hear is freedom to be alone, to be wild and to be free, and
even if it’s just for a little while.<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">Sadly, we know we do not have the ability to just hop on a
flight to this locale anytime we want. The ticket to this place has to be
purchased by circumstance. Generally a circumstance so overwhelming it sets off
a pressure cooker inside. An incident in life that goes sideways at any given
moment, with any given person, and anywhere in the world. It is such that we
don’t know how to handle it so we’d rather just escape to our castle within,
and even though we may be alone, hurt, mad, or angry, at this very moment, our insides
tell us this is where we can unload our mind, this is our Eden garden. A place
that provides our fill of happiness and ecstasy. And even here, there is no cry
out for the need to have someone around. Where alone is the ticket, then we think
we’re happy.<o:p></o:p></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgXkjP2uZWgprqh4LESRxEQpkDhnH8r2rkSlTt2cSm3XNizEfSZey9Ns6g0EbtyyqKAFciXBPgfdSEe_EDrZRUA8j_HG_7zaWSg9rd1MG3LzJVP4kfOYpWpynGo4TXPoQzvazVKS477U0k/s2048/guy+alone+in+the+wild.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="2048" data-original-width="1365" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgXkjP2uZWgprqh4LESRxEQpkDhnH8r2rkSlTt2cSm3XNizEfSZey9Ns6g0EbtyyqKAFciXBPgfdSEe_EDrZRUA8j_HG_7zaWSg9rd1MG3LzJVP4kfOYpWpynGo4TXPoQzvazVKS477U0k/s320/guy+alone+in+the+wild.jpg" /></a></div><p class="MsoNormal">To follow back around guys, this often sought after
temporary freedom isn’t what you may think it is. Its obscure setting, wearing
a cloak of invisibility, and the wild at heart energy we may feel is nothing
more than the Bigfoot…nothing more than a fable that can be dangerous if we
drift too far into the jungle. I concede that one can “feel” so exhilarated,
engulfed in mindset where nothing that can drain our energy exists, a thick
blanket of feel good fuzzy material. At this point is where we need to be wary
because here is when we are most vulnerable to any attacks. Why? For the simple
reason that we have totally allowed ourselves to drop all defenses for the
purpose of selfishly soaking in that soothing hot tub in our never-never land. </p><p class="MsoNormal"><o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">The kicker is this…as relaxing as we may feel while we are
here, this could turn out to be a positive step forward that if we choose to,
can actually provide a healthy place to kick the issue around that brought us
here. Yes, this paradise island we tend to run towards, can actually be helpful
to us. Remember I said that it can be dangerous to wander too deep into this
jungle? I mean that if we decide to stay here too long, it may be difficult to
rationalize what is real and what isn’t. People have been known to leave family,
friends, and jobs to pursue this dream. But…once we get here, let’s take
advantage of this ambiguous opportunity to move forward and out, just by changing
focus and also think about the issue that got us here. It now becomes not only
a place where we can restore and re-energize, but it’s a great place to logically
work out a solution to our problems. Even here is this place that only we can
venture to, and even though we may be alone in the wild, we can choose to
become a better person by taking the issue that someone or something meant to
harm us and turning it to make it work for us. Now we are back, in control, and
more experienced…until the next time.<o:p></o:p></p>Carloshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15161603300997030981noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7908523645990545573.post-62262982010235447202021-01-11T12:26:00.011-06:002021-01-29T18:47:14.486-06:00ONE Is the Loneliest Number<p> <b>I am lonely at times.</b>..there, I said it. It wasn't so hard to say, and for the life of me I am just now beginning to understand why it is that so many men seem to have so much trouble admitting it. In the many conversations I've had with multiple guys the one thing that is constant is that there is a lack of authentic expressions and especially to sharing internal feelings up front. It takes time to develop into something really close and really intimate but why is that? I think I have an idea and I'd like to throw it out for your consideration and thoughts if you would like to share.</p><p></p><p></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEifuNWJGjwOVnj19rp3n0ouJYIu677qIVhs2STic7gvq6Hd1haIiS30C-yvnSZD8djT6pB1UH1Ao4K46l4z8CoO6xoy-NEyjNeOL26X0KVUSeDJvunHQj-6SEGoFyaDq5ojHaYtKlO_HpU/s2048/guy+alone.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1365" data-original-width="2048" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEifuNWJGjwOVnj19rp3n0ouJYIu677qIVhs2STic7gvq6Hd1haIiS30C-yvnSZD8djT6pB1UH1Ao4K46l4z8CoO6xoy-NEyjNeOL26X0KVUSeDJvunHQj-6SEGoFyaDq5ojHaYtKlO_HpU/s320/guy+alone.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>There seems to be this internal notion for most men that sharing your feelings is a "female" thing so when there's any thought of sharing something intimate with a male friend men seem to hit a brick wall and absolutely will not go beyond. Can I paint a picture for you? They feel like the Israelites when they arrived at the Red Sea and could not go beyond that point. They looked behind and saw the Egyptian chariots racing towards them to bring them back to Egypt. If they looked towards the sea, they saw drowning and sure death. They were at a place where there seems to be no solution. It is at this exact place where men find themselves when they have this mentality, and, it has created generations of men who have had their emotional growth stunted by ideas, perceptions, and opinions of others. The idea that if I become vulnerable and share internal feelings, it shows that I am weak or cowardly. This in turn perpetuates a guy's inability to forge strong and caring relationships with other men. Then what we have left are men that won't speak, won't share, won't cry, and maybe even won't hug. This breaks my heart and causes hurt to the very core of who we have been made to be. Makes sense??<p></p><p>So without an intimate (come on guys, don't assume that means sexual) and close relationship with another man, what occurs is that men slowly begin to push that "closeness" off to their wives or girlfriends. Are you getting an idea of what is going to happen over time? Yes, men begin to believe that their mate is responsible for their emotional well being and let me just insert here, it can only lead to failure. Slowly that expectation is whittled away (probably because it was never expressed) due to the fact that a wife or girlfriend is not wired to meet that need, much less truly understand what it means. Guys! Ladies do not understand your need as a man and the simple reason is what? She's not a man!</p><p>Men place so little effort in solidifying their relationships with other men because they don't know how and for the most part, were probably instructed as a youth to not expose themselves as weak or hurt to other men. This stigma carried a sickle with it that the moment any man felt close and wanted to speak authentically to a friend, the picture of slicing and dicing takes over and the poor guy just exits stage left. Let me throw this in here, I've heard admissions that it is easier for men to fess up to feelings like anxiety and disappointment so much easier than to admit being lonely. This is a dragon of a different color. Why? Well it's because the first two can be placed towards others, but loneliness is personal and internal realization that it's on me and me alone. This means and presents a worth or a value of who I am or how I see myself. This is BIG when it comes to a personal perspective of "me".</p><p>So how do we slay this giant in our midst? By simply facing it...meaning make positive steps with a small circle of your friends you know well. Begin to share some of your sacred "feelings". Express how at times you feel like you need a friend to listen, to support, to simply to provide audience. Not only will this help you reach another level of friendship and intimacy, but may also very well open the door to another man that all this time needs exactly what you are needing and work to help him to realize it too.</p><p>No man can be an island, you may think so but somewhere sometime, you too will feel alone and it will hit you like nothing else you have faced. Be courageous and take a few steps forward to find your friend(s) but also know that those steps you have taken will payoff immensely.</p><p><br /></p><p><br /></p>Carloshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15161603300997030981noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7908523645990545573.post-43953155661570827812020-11-11T10:12:00.000-06:002020-11-11T10:18:46.707-06:00Sticks & Stones<p><span style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial; background-repeat: initial; background-size: initial; font-size: 10pt;">"</span><span><b><span face="Arial, sans-serif" style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial; background-repeat: initial; background-size: initial; font-size: 10pt;">Sticks
and stones may break</span></b><span style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial; background-repeat: initial; background-size: initial; font-size: 10pt;"> my bones, but words will never </span><b><span face="Arial, sans-serif" style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial; background-repeat: initial; background-size: initial; font-size: 10pt;">break</span></b><span style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial; background-repeat: initial; background-size: initial; font-size: 10pt;"> me." How
many men have heard this phrase and how many more have spoken them? We use it
as a metaphor to defend ourselves against verbal assaults or words that we
don't take on as descriptive of us. Have we stopped to consider how this little
harmless saying plays out in our lives? In all honesty, most every guy I have
had the pleasure of working with, sooner or later share how certain words or
phrases impacted their development. There were those that had a happy home life
growing up and never really heard harsh words directed at them. Then there are
those that as far back as they can remember were battered with disturbing and
hurtful words. Words that left them with scars so deep that only God can heal
them. With this in mind, I direct us back to the "sticks and stones"
phrase and ask you again if you really and truly believe words don't impact an
individual?</span><span style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial; background-repeat: initial; background-size: initial;"> </span><span face=""Trebuchet MS", sans-serif" style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial; background-repeat: initial; background-size: initial; font-size: 10pt;">Are you aware that we were designed to feel emotional pain and hurt as well? That's correct,
emotional pain can feel as deep and as raw as physical pain and in some cases,
even more than that. And the root of the emotional hurt? Words! Words that cut
deep and imbed scars for ages. Words in the wrong hands can be a dangerous thing and the wrong can bring down a nation. If they can do that, how do
we even get to imagine we are stronger than that? Now, if I may I would like to
return to my opening statement and bring this more in line with how you feel
about it. Maybe you were one of the fortunate ones that had a great and happy
growing up life or perhaps you weren't as fortunate but either way, the words
we choose to represent what we feel inside does not care which you were, your
skin color, your language, or even if you're male or female. No sir, words do
not separate us by these things but do display a lot about what's going on
inside of us. </span></span></p><p><span><span face=""Trebuchet MS", sans-serif" style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial; background-repeat: initial; background-size: initial; font-size: 10pt;">A famous King David once wrote these words, "</span></span><span style="font-size: 13.3333px;">The power of life and death are in the tongue, and those who love it will eat its fruit.”. Did you catch that? Do you sense the impact of this statement? In my opinion, it is divided into two parts, the first is that the tongue has the power of life and death. The second, but is more personal as it stipulates that those that love their tongues or rather what comes out of it, will eat of its fruit. Another way to describe this is that all the words we speak are representative of what resides inside of each of us. With this being said, we all at times say things that we really don't mean only to turn around later and have to apologize, which is correct, but it is not easy. It isn't easy especially when we see the hurt our words have just caused someone. It takes great humility to retract such a statement, and when we verbalize something that is damaging it’s hard to later apologize and mend the wound we have caused. Here's a thought, the damage is primarily caused to us first, although we don't immediately recognize it, then we see the external damage we've caused. This is a double whammy on us and the irony is it came from our own lips. </span></p><p><span style="font-size: 13.3333px;">I believe it would be in our own best interest to take on Anthony Liccione's quote, “A fool is made more of a fool, when their mouth is more open than their mind ”. Don't let what and how you speak take over your identity because you are not what you speak during the times of unfettered tirades. The words you choose can bring you down or lift you up, and the power of the tongue can be tamed if you think first and allow yourself to be and stay in control. Remember, nothing or no one has any power over you unless you hand it to them. Once at this point, you may as well begin to prepare your apologies.</span></p><p><span><span style="font-size: 13.3333px;">I close this with a quote from Kari Kampakis, "Whatever they did, make a pledge. Promise yourself that you'll never treat anyone the way they treated you. This is how you become a kinder and more compassionate person. This is how you learn from their mistakes."</span></span></p>Carloshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15161603300997030981noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7908523645990545573.post-90234977717786333202020-10-21T22:13:00.001-05:002020-10-21T22:13:38.142-05:00Mansplaining...What the Heck??<p> </p><p></p><p class="MsoNormal">Yep, I said it, “we guys have to get a handle on the one
thing we are good at and that is “mansplaining”. What is mansplaining one may
ask? Well, as my wife defines it, “the process by which a male attempts to
explain what a woman is trying to say to someone else” or literally a total
communication failure. That’s “mansplaining” and it goes to show that the
reason men grunt and point, is because of this very unique inability to
verbally express others thoughts and opinions and sometimes not even their own.
<o:p></o:p></p>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg0FrF2oF4dGhrzZCXt6s5h0lc1ONuNrTEnBg351_Eqz0NBa9KE9QvaLV7FBp-53dBC7i5sz9g5CTfT5Ws2M-9ykib16JjGIn63pwMQMR9ehsjydXDtm0saoHX9OcUVC_GJ-YKub63gMOQ/s512/Confused+man.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="350" data-original-width="512" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg0FrF2oF4dGhrzZCXt6s5h0lc1ONuNrTEnBg351_Eqz0NBa9KE9QvaLV7FBp-53dBC7i5sz9g5CTfT5Ws2M-9ykib16JjGIn63pwMQMR9ehsjydXDtm0saoHX9OcUVC_GJ-YKub63gMOQ/s320/Confused+man.jpg" width="320" /></a></div><p class="MsoNormal">The mere reasons men don’t understand how women think and
speak is because we were made to think without a mental pause button. That’s
right, unlike our DVR gadget that allows to pause a show so we can get a sandwich
or visit the library for a bit, we do
not have the same benefit as we listen to our wives or girlfriends to be able
to pause them for a second. A button that would enable us to take information,
process correctly, and then disseminate appropriately, and then hit play. Oh no
no no, this would have been too much for a man as it takes too long to wait for
all the words, and, had we been able to pause between sentences, we wouldn’t be
so apt to crash and burn when we are “mansplaining” to a bud. This is why we
finish stories we are being told and fast forward to the end making up our own
endings. Does this sound familiar? Of course it does! Men do this all the time
all the while believing that we are operating at maximum capacity. All of this
because we are “mansplainers” and we “mansplain” well.</p><p class="MsoNormal"><o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">Here's the deal, it is widely known and possibly accepted
that men over talk ladies because of the natural tendency to fix or correct a
situation. If they listen to the whole story, you can bet money they are
mentally formulating a solution to a perceived problem. It’s what we do! What
we don’t realize very well is the fact that when spoken to by our wives or
girlfriends, we skip right over the natural intent of them sharing to determine
and achieve connection. That’s called being in a relationship. On a recent
fishing trip one of our reels was not functioning properly and the two guys I
was with quickly started to offer thoughts on why it didn’t work and what to do
about it. That’s a good thing except there were three differing solutions. So
now what? By logical progression, we try the first and if it doesn’t work we
move on to the next option. Sounds easy right? Well yes in this case, but
attempting to fix a fishing reel is no where close to fixing a relationship.
That’s why we are always on the chopping block because of vision. Seriously…I
mean men don’t have the upfront vision that once they approach their wives or
girlfriends with the same process as fixing a fishing reel, well you see how
that doesn’t float very well? <o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">My challenge to myself and my buds is this…let’s try to
remember that when we are being spoken to by anyone, try to maintain a true
focal point of listening. Acknowledge that we are hearing them 100%, and not
offer any solutions unless we are asked to. Sound good? I can assure you, that
it won’t be easy, and it will cost something. However, if we are willing to
give our “mansplaining” an upgrade, we can connect in new ways with our gals.
Just like at the beginning of every episode of Star Trek, we can follow that
lead:<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Space, the final
frontier. These are the voyages of the Starship Enterprise(me and you). <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Its five year mission to explore strange new
worlds, to seek out new life and new civilizations.<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;">To boldly go where no man has
gone before!<o:p></o:p></p><br /><p></p>Carloshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15161603300997030981noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7908523645990545573.post-82968362771114204622020-10-14T21:50:00.002-05:002020-10-14T21:50:30.358-05:00At The Edge Of Identity<p>It's 2 AM, my phone begins to vibrate and of course the first thing I think is that something has happened or someone has died. It's an awful gut feeling that almost always happens when one gets awakened suddenly by a phone so early in the morning. </p><p>The voice on the other end of the line says, "I'm sorry to wake you but I'm afraid...I don't know if I can continue with this". It's one of the young men that I have taken on as a mentee and is having a relapse in believing the lies he's been told all his life. My heart starts beating hard and I know this moment is crucial in helping him regain his foundational truth. This is one of many hurdles men will deal with in their journey.</p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhG2g3KpdIJxwevnCViZ3sb44VMaPvaLCekWV6JyCteoq-a8nHnPsCiFEJFD9jGjd0xLScgwVpiNDQcT9ReCr9VXdBlEiRRjsREjwrSlLveGGyLszGAZzPVanoU-F3R_ifOK_4dr493lYM/s2048/Guy+on+edge+of+cliff.jpg" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="2048" data-original-width="1367" height="334" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhG2g3KpdIJxwevnCViZ3sb44VMaPvaLCekWV6JyCteoq-a8nHnPsCiFEJFD9jGjd0xLScgwVpiNDQcT9ReCr9VXdBlEiRRjsREjwrSlLveGGyLszGAZzPVanoU-F3R_ifOK_4dr493lYM/w214-h334/Guy+on+edge+of+cliff.jpg" width="214" /></a></div><p>"What are you afraid of" I ask and he responds, "I'm afraid that I don't measure up to what God is asking of me. I feel like I should be punished for all my sins and things I've done wrong in my life. I feel like such a hypocrite even to think that God would accept me the way I am." In all honesty, I can totally understand how he's feeling but it's a lie. In the fraction of a second, my mind took me back to those times I kept running from God because I knew I was too messed up for His approval. Too filthy for His love and knew there was no hope for me to ever become a child of His. And yet here I am taking a stake in this man's life and doing all I can to assure him God loves him even though he is in a rough mental place right now. </p><p>In that very moment it felt like the anointing of the Spirit just took over and I am speaking words that are just flowing sweetly and lovingly from my lips. Words that hug, words that warm a heart, and more that anything else, assures him that no matter what, Jesus will always be with him regardless of how he feels. Oh I totally understand this deeply as I've been rescued from that edge on more than one occasion.</p><p>You see, up until some years ago I struggled with who I was and where I was going and let me say that when a man finds himself in this position, options are not so readily available even from our most trusted sources. Being able to recognize and have a significant understanding of who a man is lays a foundation for who he will be the rest of his life. I was raised primarily by a stay at home mom while my dad worked out of town all week. As much as I learned about personal care from my mom, I didn't get the much needed guidance from dad on what it meant to be a man. In other words, I had to get my definition of manhood from my mom. Down the road I realized how messed up this was and although appreciative of my mom, I honestly didn't have the manly disposition. So what happens with a scenario like this? Well, I began to look for male role models around me and when I thought I found some, they really weren't so healthy for me, as much as a destruction of me. The results? I realized that if I was going to find myself, then the only person that could help me was me.</p><p>I share a little of my story because so many young men have and are growing up without a dad in their lives. This is only one example, but when you think about the world as a whole, there are many reasons that men find themselves alone and have to learn life by themselves. Identity is lost in culture, in small towns and large cities; everywhere we look we see our young men longing for some love and guidance. They need someone to hold them when they're scared and afraid that their world is falling apart and it appears like no one is there to help them. So what do they do? They turn to people and things that only push them further into a world of chaos. Fight is the first reaction because they feel there is no one, shoulder to shoulder with them, fighting the so unfamiliar giants,</p><p>I have not and will not lose hope for our young ones, the cost is too high! This is why the early morning calls or the late night calls for help with always go answered. I understand that it could be this one moment in time that will change the direction of a life. Oh, what a gift-wrapped blessing it is to speak to a man about how God wants to have a relationship with him. God desires to walk alongside, be there when trouble comes, all the while revealing this man's true identity. Once this happens and he understands what has happened, he will discard his old life and all of the lies, and replace it with a new life. A life where he knows who he is, one with clear purpose and one where he realizes he has the greatest Father in the world! His world will still have difficulties, but the difference is he now knows he doesn't have to handle them alone. </p><p><br /></p><p> </p>Carloshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15161603300997030981noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7908523645990545573.post-85545812943493088892020-10-06T15:06:00.000-05:002020-10-06T15:06:13.800-05:00He Ain't Heavy He's My BrotherI have a few guys that I guide and mentor and we meet individually throughout the week and then as a group once per month. I have to say that some of my greatest insights have come from them as they share their life and struggles. I have to confess the guys are still, shall we say, somewhat unabashed in their honesty and at times enough to make even a grown man blush. I have found that it is during these times, when they know they can be themselves, know there is no judgement or criticism, but also know that the love of God through Christ, has restored and refreshed the way they do life.<div><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgXS4l2We_TP5rwVnzdT8rqGkvdhGngJgaskjrJtGHl2XWkkMdOCWCPZpFV2uTs9dv4OVvg8LRo9Pfs8bOAvgMJFe_ZJbrSQGkXW8zTAr1JDymV0ZdQ_qryobvQzGiN7c0uz-2pLhA3-dg/s1920/hands-5581460_1920.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1440" data-original-width="1920" height="266" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgXS4l2We_TP5rwVnzdT8rqGkvdhGngJgaskjrJtGHl2XWkkMdOCWCPZpFV2uTs9dv4OVvg8LRo9Pfs8bOAvgMJFe_ZJbrSQGkXW8zTAr1JDymV0ZdQ_qryobvQzGiN7c0uz-2pLhA3-dg/w320-h266/hands-5581460_1920.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>I preface my point with all of this only to impress the fact that I have noticed a trend in our conversations that qualify something I believe in and practice as often as I can. That is that when men come together, regardless of age, we see other men by the many things that separate us. In other words, those things that make us different, those things that can be traced back to each individual alone. We tend to first see and act on those traits or behaviors that are different from us. I used to be the same way but I learned along the way that what I see first sets up the stage for all the things I am going to believe about life and about someone else. So if this is what I choose to believe, then I will live out of this belief. <div><br /></div><div>What if we were to see instead those things that unite us and make us more similar than we really know? What if we saw someone else with an understanding that like me, they are flawed too but certainly endowed with many of the same things that bring health and wellbeing to the table. Wouldn't that be a better way to view and have relationships with each other. In addition, this would set life up for a more enjoyable co-existence filled with respect, honor, and understanding. Just this vantage point would knock our togetherness out of the park. We are always going to see people in certain ways and how they treat us will determine so much about how we respond to them. The one thing I can say is that thanks to a loving God, that saw me for who I could be and not for who I was, I have a new life, purpose, and thoughts about all my next steps. I would want that for the men that have trusted me with their spiritual and emotional wellbeing and certainly for you dear reader.</div><div><br /></div><div>I'm not naïve enough to believe that even this perspective will eliminate some fears, preconceived ideas, or profiling but the one thing I do know without a doubt is that a company of many men, having the same goals can conquer any obstacle and get this, they don't all have to be made from the same cloth. They just need to be unified in their effort for a greater good.<br /><div><br /></div></div>Carloshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15161603300997030981noreply@blogger.com0