Yep, I said it, “we guys have to get a handle on the one thing we are good at and that is “mansplaining”. What is mansplaining one may ask? Well, as my wife defines it, “the process by which a male attempts to explain what a woman is trying to say to someone else” or literally a total communication failure. That’s “mansplaining” and it goes to show that the reason men grunt and point, is because of this very unique inability to verbally express others thoughts and opinions and sometimes not even their own.
The mere reasons men don’t understand how women think and speak is because we were made to think without a mental pause button. That’s right, unlike our DVR gadget that allows to pause a show so we can get a sandwich or visit the library for a bit, we do not have the same benefit as we listen to our wives or girlfriends to be able to pause them for a second. A button that would enable us to take information, process correctly, and then disseminate appropriately, and then hit play. Oh no no no, this would have been too much for a man as it takes too long to wait for all the words, and, had we been able to pause between sentences, we wouldn’t be so apt to crash and burn when we are “mansplaining” to a bud. This is why we finish stories we are being told and fast forward to the end making up our own endings. Does this sound familiar? Of course it does! Men do this all the time all the while believing that we are operating at maximum capacity. All of this because we are “mansplainers” and we “mansplain” well.
Here's the deal, it is widely known and possibly accepted that men over talk ladies because of the natural tendency to fix or correct a situation. If they listen to the whole story, you can bet money they are mentally formulating a solution to a perceived problem. It’s what we do! What we don’t realize very well is the fact that when spoken to by our wives or girlfriends, we skip right over the natural intent of them sharing to determine and achieve connection. That’s called being in a relationship. On a recent fishing trip one of our reels was not functioning properly and the two guys I was with quickly started to offer thoughts on why it didn’t work and what to do about it. That’s a good thing except there were three differing solutions. So now what? By logical progression, we try the first and if it doesn’t work we move on to the next option. Sounds easy right? Well yes in this case, but attempting to fix a fishing reel is no where close to fixing a relationship. That’s why we are always on the chopping block because of vision. Seriously…I mean men don’t have the upfront vision that once they approach their wives or girlfriends with the same process as fixing a fishing reel, well you see how that doesn’t float very well?
My challenge to myself and my buds is this…let’s try to remember that when we are being spoken to by anyone, try to maintain a true focal point of listening. Acknowledge that we are hearing them 100%, and not offer any solutions unless we are asked to. Sound good? I can assure you, that it won’t be easy, and it will cost something. However, if we are willing to give our “mansplaining” an upgrade, we can connect in new ways with our gals. Just like at the beginning of every episode of Star Trek, we can follow that lead:
Space, the final frontier. These are the voyages of the Starship Enterprise(me and you). Its five year mission to explore strange new worlds, to seek out new life and new civilizations.
To boldly go where no man has gone before!