The Tin Man Saga

I am reminded all too frequently about the bad in the world by the never-ending issues that people face, many of which are displayed on social media, network television and the local radio stations. It’s all around and there is absolutely no way any of this can be avoided. This has been a topic of discussion by many people, groups, and even within many organizations and yet, no one seems to have the answer as to why this is. In my small but intimate men’s group, this has also invaded our peace and comfort by raising its evil head by something that has happened to one of us, all of us, or to someone we know. Maybe it’s just a news story we come across somewhere and we discuss it during our time together.   All around the world, bad things happen to good people…and then seemingly, life goes on. Let me just say at the onset of this blog, I don’t have the answer to this either, but I do love to dig deep into the occurrence and at the very least try to understand as much reasoning as po...

 Sitting in a coffee shop waiting for my friend to show up so we can catch up from a seemingly long and unwanted hiatus, I look up as more and more people walk in together with someone and my curious nature kicks in which allows me to wonder if they are friends or spouses or perhaps they’re just meeting to discuss some business. The truth is that because I get to overhear some of their conversation it provides clues so I can ascertain the relationship. It’s kind of like a game to me and sometimes I do guess correctly but sometimes I don’t…oh, sometimes I am way wrong! Being a fan of old fashioned friendship, it stirs me up to see people laughing, talking, and enjoying one another in what seems to be close sincere relationships and my heart is warmed for the moment. I love hearing people act on their friendships in the ways that only they know the deeper meanings both the giver and receiver. Yes, call me old fashion but this is true friendship the way it is supposed to be. With th...

  Trust…what a word! A word that I would define as believing in someone that has honor, is courageous, respectful, and with much integrity. And yet, it seems to be noticeably absent today. Maybe even becoming extinct like the dinosaurs of a world long ago. Trust is, in my opinion, definitely absent from our government, our schools, communities, and yes, even our own families and social circles. There appears to be a tamping down of trust almost to the point of losing it altogether…in our world, but mostly in ourselves. Trust seems to be replaced by the suitable colors of personal likes and dislikes. Forsaking trust for empty words, for the pleasure of us and what we desire ourselves to be. But make no mistake about it, when we say something, but it never seems to be fulfilled, it turns out like the old American Indian saying, “You speak with forked tongue”. They had every reason to say this since they were promised much but delivered so much less.      Let me ask t...

  When you see me smiling and it appears that all is great, ask if it really is. When you see me walking alone, ask if you can walk with me. When you see me crying ask if you can cry with me. Why do you have to visibly see me to ask a question? What you cannot see is that I’m dying on the inside but not on the outside. What you cannot see is that I am moments away from the next life. Oh, but what if you could just really see me?       Unknown   My heart breaks when I hear someone’s story of crying out in hurt and pain but never really saying anything to anyone. I wonder…why? Why didn’t this person say something to someone that maybe could have helped. Why didn’t they step up and say they are in need and at that very moment my spirit quickens me asking why am I just blaming the person needing help? Why do I place all responsibility on the one person so emotionally weak that they cannot possibly know what to do?   I feel like a ter...

    “Most men run away from the fight because they don’t want to answer the inevitable question…Am I one of the weak ones or am I one of the strong?”...unknown   Growing up in a small country town outside the Houston area I met many boys that would go to school along with me. I learned early on that boys come in all shapes and sizes. Not necessarily in physical appearance but in likes and dislikes, tough as nails and some as strong as flower petals, but there was one thing that we all knew inside…country boys never back down from a fight. It didn’t matter if we were getting an outstanding butt whooping, you never gave in and you never quit.   In reading the quote above, it reminded me about my growing up years and what I had learned that would carry me through life. Fighting, come to find out, used to be a normal part of a man’s development, expected I guess one could say, and it was there to create or enrich inner strength. But since the days of my youth, th...

  That Masked Man As my mentee group of young men finished up the other night and after they had all left, I sat alone on the patio just contemplating the evening’s discussions and singular topics of conversation. As I thought about the laughter and playful jokes cast upon each other, I realized something. There are times when the guys speak a lot and then there are times when even though they don’t speak a lot, what they do say is full of information. Many camouflaged hints, and innuendos that if I didn’t believe and practice in listening to what wasn’t said, I feel I would have missed so much insight into their emotional and spiritual wellbeing. Words matter and it is critically important when speaking with men to listen to and read between the lines. As personal stories go, without someone listening to them, their story would just move on without anyone giving it a second thought to hear the words which may indicate the “why” they were said to begin with. It would have been my...

  Our Life In Pieces   I’ve spoken to this topic before but I came across something that made me want to remind you of who you are. I came across an article this morning and it caught my attention because it is about an area of life that I have deep interest in. So, I would like to start with this quote from the book by Jack Myers, The Future of Men. He states, “Donald Trump and Bernie Sanders are tapping into what I’m calling a “Lean Out” generation of young, discouraged and angry men—men who are feeling abandoned by the thousands of years of history that defined what it meant to be a real man: to be strong; to be a provider; to be in authority; to be the ultimate decision maker; and to be economically, educationally, physically and politically dominant…”. In my efforts of working with men, it dawned on me some years ago that this is relatively true. Within the young men I speak to that come for advice or ask about meeting for coffee, the one trending facet of a conversat...