The Tin Man Saga

Last time I left you with a challenge to do  two very important things that would help your marriage or relationship get to a higher level of health and wellness. One challenge was to study your wife and the other, to romance your wife . If you  intentionally   worked on these two things you are well on your way to the best time of your life with your spouse or girlfriend. This time around I will provide you with two more challenges that will solidify the four quandrants of what women want from their hero. There are some areas of relationships that are crucial to have and with intentionality, you can provide vitality to it. Of course, there may be a few differences between the ladies but for the most part, if you fill in the blanks in these areas, you are gonna hit it out of the ballpark. For example, the challenge of studying  your wife, when done correctly, will shape the area of " Connection " for you both. When you are in healthy connection, there is an incredi...

  To change the topic content is healthy every now and again so this episode will be about relationship, but not just any relationship, but a very particular one. I’m speaking about your wife, if you have one, but if you don’t keep reading so you can learn about being “the one” your future wife is looking for. In meeting with men for a couple of decades now, one of the most frequently discussed topics has typically been a consistent struggle in how couples communicate. When this is not healthy, arguments are soon to follow. Why is there so much lacking in a couple’s ability to talk with one another instead of talking at one another?   We could say it is because of misunderstandings, wrong words being spoken, even a tone taken during this interaction. Honestly, these things for sure are culprits, but along with other factors, communication skills between spouses are hampered more than one realizes. Let me say this as well, there isn’t any one perfect couple that doesn’t mes...

  Not that I’m being nosey, well, maybe sometimes I am, but I am absolutely mesmerized by listening to people as they talk with one another or to me. Obviously, it’s impossible for me to ascertain what is occurring in their minds, so I’m left to formulate that whatever is in their minds at that moment, is what may guide or steer that particular conversation. Something I’ve learned in my years of counseling and being a mentor, is that I must be very intentional when talking to someone, that I listen to what is being said, and just as important, to what is not being said. Active listening some folks may call it, but it’s the keen ability to listen deeply to someone and not just hear them. At times Active listening requires utilizing many of the other human senses to learn more about them. Like the cologne they have on, are they right or left handed, what are some repetitive words and phrases they use, and of course, asking the right questions. All this information goes a long way int...

  I have had, and still have, the pleasure and honor to lead and mentor quite a few men in my lifetime. There’s something to be said about the bond between these men and myself that I pray carries them long after I am gone and just a memory. I was taught early that the strength of a man is strongest when he is vulnerable. I did say vulnerable. That word that carries so much distaste for men who walk around defeated because in their minds it means having to share their feelings, being really touchy feely, and perhaps worst of all, having to hug longer than the cultural prescription of three pats on the back and you’re done. If it is anything, it certainly is not any of what I just named. A few of the men say they’re just not wired for it since young and were taught by their dad what it meant to be a man. In addition, it is absolutely not in their character or personality. Well of course neither of these is true as we are taught that God made us in His image, that means His attri...

  8:30 am and here I wait at a local coffee shop waiting for an old friend and fellow men’s instructor so that we can catch up and enjoy the fellowship. Even though we are now attending different men’s groups and haven’t spoken to each other except over a text here and there, when he gets here it’s like we were never apart and just picked up where we left off. We caught up initially on mutual friends, fortunes, and a few failures. Ultimately, we wound up discussing our current groups, the studies, and the mentorship aspect we’ve adapted and dole out taking the conversation into the good and bad choices we as guys make throughout the day. Afterall, each of our lives are made up of choices we’ve made over the years.                                                                  ...

  First off, I do apologize for being very late with my next blog episode. Simply put, it just kept getting pushed further down in order of priorities, but I did promise certain people that I would be consistent on my episodes so after some serious conviction, I’m on it. So what’s the deal with us not meeting our commitments or promises? I’ve been thinking about it and thought I would bring it up here because in many ways, it seems that we have put aside how important our word can be. I am noticing more often than not, that it is a growing problem in society. I hadn’t really paid attention to it until recently when I was to meet someone for a BBQ lunch but wound up eating alone. As I sat there, I began to work through some thoughts that enabled me to begin remembering how many times people are late or no shows, which led to other things that seem to be in a pattern of lateness. Restaurant food, flights, meetings at work, weddings, yes and even church service that goes on and on. ...

I am reminded all too frequently about the bad in the world by the never-ending issues that people face, many of which are displayed on social media, network television and the local radio stations. It’s all around and there is absolutely no way any of this can be avoided. This has been a topic of discussion by many people, groups, and even within many organizations and yet, no one seems to have the answer as to why this is. In my small but intimate men’s group, this has also invaded our peace and comfort by raising its evil head by something that has happened to one of us, all of us, or to someone we know. Maybe it’s just a news story we come across somewhere and we discuss it during our time together.   All around the world, bad things happen to good people…and then seemingly, life goes on. Let me just say at the onset of this blog, I don’t have the answer to this either, but I do love to dig deep into the occurrence and at the very least try to understand as much reasoning as po...